I have dogs. They’re all rescue dogs. There’s a phrase for these kinds of dogs…wonder dogs, because you “wonder what they are.” Their names are all based on important things I need to be reminded of in my life. Luke, Lily and…well you’ll see.

Three years ago a friend found this little dog in the shelter. He was quiet, tiny, white and sitting alone in a corner. He was called “Wags’ because he constantly wagged his tail. I took him home and named him Ezekiel (Zeke to his close friends) like that powerful prophet in the bible who proclaimed restoration.

I soon discovered he didn’t like to perform “his duty outside” in the rain and cold, he also needed to be “top dog” and he was relentless in his need for giving and getting love. It annoyed me too…the relentless part. He constantly had to be on me, jumping on me, licking my hand or face, and so on. Thankfully he has become more obedient in almost all things. We’re still working on the rainy day mishaps. However, he still remains obsessively loving, protective, and persistent in getting me to love him any way he can…like God. Here’s what I mean.

The Lord has been trying to teach me about a good “four letter word”… love. He’s been at it for many years. It’s always been a very frightening word that I felt was used too frivolously and had lots of other painful connotations. Then one day as Zeke was leaning on me, then lying on top of me, following me everywhere, in general “bugging Me”, I heard a still small voice inside me say “That’s the way I feel about you. I will not give up showing you My love. I have relentlessly pursued you and will not stop until you learn how to let Me love you. I’m not going away and I’m not giving up. I will continue to pursue you until you learn how to receive it. Like Zeke, I think you’re perfect. Like Zeke, I’ll be patient. Like Zeke, I’m never running away.”

Prior to this, I had spent the last thirty-five years being very busy doing good works; going through every open door I could find to achieve my goals and filling my life “with life.” I thought I was doing what the Lord wanted. I was right in some ways and wrong in one big way.

Something significant happened to me in England nearly twenty years ago. It was my last day there after attending a conference. I had time to waste. I wandered across the street to Kensington Park. As I was walking down a pathway I noticed a man covered with all types of birds, swarming around him, over him and on the ground around his feet. I got closer and was amazed at what I saw. This little old man, with tattered dirty clothes, a worn out hat, dirty hands and nails and very thick glasses had birds of kinds eating in his hands, or from his shoulders or as they perched on his head. Some were playing catch with the food he was tossing in the air. They were not afraid of him. They trusted him. Even the sparrows sat in his hand to enjoy the feast. They fearlessly sat next to a type of herring gull and pigeons twice their size!

It was a spectacular sight. I had to find out how such a thing could happen. He explained that he and his wife had come to the same place in the park at the same time of day every day since the beginning of World War II when they were newlyweds. He was not allowed to serve in any military due to his poor vision. She had passed away several years ago but he kept coming to feed their birds. They expected him and he loved his time with them.

On the airplane trip home the Lord explained why I had the opportunity to meet this man and his winged friends. He told me that I too would not be afraid if I could spend time with Him each day and allow Him to feed me and while I got to know Him better. But, as I said earlier, I got side-tracked and kept my life nice and busy so I didn’t have to think about it. After all, I was doing good works wasn’t I? That should have been enough right?

Two years ago, He got my attention due to a lot of different circumstances. One of which was losing my last living parent, my mother. The day I write this is the anniversary of her death.  In addition, all the “usual doors of opportunity and favor” shut tight and I was forced to be still. And that I did. Not with a perfect attitude I might add, but I did it. I had no choice.

Months went by. I didn’t sense any great breakthroughs. I kept reading, crying, pleading, pouting, yelling and searching. I didn’t think anything was changing, including me. But it was… and I was.

You see, I spent these twenty four months relentlessly seeking Him. Each day I began to get better with reading, studying, being silent and listening. I needed to know the purpose for the remainder of my life. I didn’t want the time I had left to be wasted. I wanted to know that my life, my dreams were aligned with His so I could one day hear “Well done good and faithful servant.” Everything that I once thought was important, the purpose for my living, was shifting or some would say being “sifted”.

Then I suddenly realized something.  I could finally hear this still small voice about this love. I was feeling safe, ready to hear about it and to experience it. I wanted to feel that thing that I heard people talk about all the time…unconditional love.  The love that is given without expectations…without asking…without pain.  A kind of love with lots of understanding and forgiveness, even if I make a mistake, like Zeke. It came and began (and still is) penetrating into the broken parts of me, healing me, giving me more power, more peace and more strength than ever before and at a speed that I can handle. It was always there…always available. I was too scared and too busy.

Like those little sparrows, I too look forward to my time with the One who feeds me, teaches me and talks to me. I actually cherish and protect those times. I’m no longer afraid to sit and listen. I don’t do this out of some religious obligation. I do this because I am drawn by this sense of love, safety and the anticipation that I might learn something new each day. If not, it’s alright. I’ve got the time. I’m in no rush. He’s worth it and He thinks I am too!