Success and Failure Blog

One Christmas Eve back in the mid-90′s I headed out to Kensington Avenue with my good friend, Shirley. She had called me a few days earlier to invite me on a very special mission. So, I said yes, as I was always ready for a bit of intrigue.

Packed in her trunk were about twenty gift bags filled with toiletries like shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc. Shirley had prepared each bag with loving care and a silent, yet thoughtful, prayer went up as every one was completely filled.

Kensington Avenue is located in one of the ugliest areas of North Philadelphia known as the “Badlands”. I used to live and work just five minutes from the strip. After dark, and after most of the shops along this street (covered by the Elevated Train track overhead) were closed, out of the shadows crept the prostitutes who were ready to begin their workday. Dressed in dingy, skimpy clothing, with tired and vacant eyes and slouching shoulders, each girl began her silent sales pitch.

As we began our journey down this dimly lit avenue, bundled up and tucked safely in Shirley’s car, I could recall the words she spoke to me over the phone. It went something like this: “These girls just need to be touched with God’s love. Who else is going to do it? We’re His hands, Summer. I just want to make sure they know that God knows who and where they are, and that He loves them.” How could I resist?

One by one, as we inched along the street, we gave the bags away with a few words of hope. I wish I could say that they all responded with immense gratitude and that many decided to walk away from their lifestyle. But, no miracle happened that night. None that I could see anyway.

But, the memory of that evening is branded in my mind. And I thank Shirley for the invitation.

In 2002, I helped start a ministry to prostitutes along the railroad tracks in Zone One of Guatemala City. I’m no longer with that ministry, but my husband and I have maintained a relationship with one of the ex-hookers I’d met there. Her name is Sheny, and she’s HIV positive. She’s got three kids and we help them throughout the year with food, clothes, school supplies, etc. Sheny’s got a job, but only earns the equivalent of $200 a month, which barely provides for the rent, food and medication she needs to keep from dying too soon.

She’s got quite the story, Sheny does. Her life history makes mine seem like a fairy tail – and I didn’t have it easy.

I’m not tooting my own horn or patting myself on the back by sharing this with you. The truth is, it’s a sacrifice for me to give of my money, time and energy. Oftentimes, I’d rather stay inside my cozy home and enjoy being with my husband and son. But, I’m always haunted by the fact that there are millions of people hurting in this world.
So I give.

I wish I could give more. I wish I could do more.

We have gifts nicely wrapped under the tree for Sheny and her kids this year. Nothing fancy, really. Just blankets and some toiletries. But, we’re happy to give, because we know that through giving God’s love is communicated.

Shirely’s still living in Philly, giving of herself constantly.

How will you spend your Christmas? Will you give to someone in need? Who do you know that’s hurting?

It’s a challenge.

Don’t do it to make yourself feel good or to ease your conscience. Give because you know someone needs it. Open up your heart and life and pour out kindness and gentleness and mercy.

Don’t think you have anything to give? Everyone has something.

Our budget was extremely tight this year, what with the newborn baby and all. But, It’s worth it to love someone else, no matter what the cost. So we’ll be in debt for a couple of months. So what.

Give.
Help.
Love.

Merry Christmas!
Summer

(Originally written December, 2007)

I have a question for you.  When was the last time that you went to a birthday party and all of the guests opened up gifts that was given to them by everybody else while the person whose birthday is being celebrated sat there and watched, receiving nothing?

What if the person was you?  What if it was your birthday, a whole bunch of people came over to help you celebrate, and then exchanged gifts with each other ignoring you?

This realization hit me this year a couple of weeks before Christmas.  Here we are year after year running around frantically weeks before Christmas buying presents for others, setting up Christmas parties, decorating, visiting relatives, going on vacation, baking cookies, being nicer to each other, etc.

On Christmas morning, the children wake up, squeal in delight, and race to open presents.  The parents and maybe other relatives look on smiling joyfully as the children open their gifts that were purchased for them.  Wrappings are flown around, the toys are played with, the Christmas feast is prepared for heating later that day.

But what is missing here?  What about the person whose birthday is being celebrated?  What did he receive?

Oh sure you may have gone to church, sang Christmas carols, read Luke 2, even served a meal at the homeless shelter.

But what did he received?  Yes, this is a hard question and one I had to realistically face.  So this year I challenged my family, and myself by asking all of us to give Jesus a present.  I have children ranging in ages from four years old to 11.  How does the child “give” something to Jesus?  What do we give?

“Ask him,” I said.  When you want to give a gift to someone do you not ask or get an idea of what the person wants?  I told my family it could be anything.  The physical something, something that is done, or whatever they believed is what Jesus would want.

Now, I really do not know how this will play out.  How do you give something to the one who created everything?  I did  not have an answer, so I prayed and asked him.  Immediately a gift idea popped in my head.

“Wow, you want that.” I thought upon the answer.  At that moment I realized that what he wanted was never mine in the first place but I considered it as such all of these years.  So without too much hesitation, I started figuring out how that would work in reality of everyday living, and purposed it in my brain that is what I would give Jesus as a birthday present.

And that is what I did on Christmas Day.  Now, I know you want to know what it is.  As I told my children when the idea was first presented, their gift is personal and may remain between them and Jesus if that is their choice.  This is a yearly tradition that I would like them to choose to do, not simply an act because that is what Daddy is expecting of them.

However, if there are enough comments on this article down below, I will tell you what I gave Jesus for his birthday.  Not to show off, but for instruction.

The last I heard, my six year old daughter wanted to be a godly girl for her birthday present.  Wow.  The other children and my wife?  I do not know.  I will bring it up in conversation one more time and then let it go.  The same as I’m doing here with you.

It is not too late to give a gift, you know.  I am sure that you have been to a belated birthday party at least one time in your life.  This could be one.  Not sure what to give?  Ask him.

Share with us below what you have given, or want to give, Jesus to celebrate his birth.

She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. (Matthew 1:21)

The word “saved” implies danger. There is no need to be saved if there is nothing to be saved from. The Jews in the first century wanted deliverance. They wanted to be saved from a secular government, but many did not realize that they first needed to be rescued from something else. They needed to be saved from their sins.

At His first coming, Jesus did not come to rule, but to die. He came to save His people from their sin. The supreme irony was that He came not only to save Jewish people, but also the Gentiles. The wicked heathen people whom the Jews had separated themselves from would be saved by the Messiah! Praise God for His great and wide grace!

Doubtless, Joesph might have confined the words spoken by the angel, “His people,” to include only the Jews. But these words contain a much wider scope of people, these words include the redeemed people of all ages. They include both Jews and Gentiles. They include Enoch and Noah. They include Melchizedek, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They include Moses, Ruth, David, Esther, and all the rest of the redeemed, both in the past and those yet to be born. All of these people are saved by God, saved from their sin, and granted that which they do not deserve.

Jesus came to save His people from their sins! He came to save His people from that which they rightly deserved! The final penalty for sin is eternal damnation. Hell. The wrath of God. But Christ bore His people’s punishment on the cross; He bore the wrath of God in order to make salvation possible!

After the angel of the Lord had finished his explanation concerning the purpose of the Messiah, Joesph’s dream was complete. When Joseph woke up, he obediently acted according to the words of the angel and took Mary as his wife.

Related Posts:
Isaiah’s Prophecy: It’s Fulfillment (Part 1) – Matthew 1:22-23
Joseph, Do Not Be Afraid to Take Mary as Your Wife – Matthew 1:20
Joseph’s Dilemma – Matthew 1:19
The Virgin Birth – Matthew 1:18
The Lineage of the Messiah – Matthew 1:1-17

The virgin birth, in and of itself, was a great miracle, but the child to be born would bring about even greater miracles. In the past few verses, Matthew has mainly focused on Mary and Joseph. The emphasis has been on Mary’s unique pregnancy, but now the emphasis shifts to the infant who is soon to be born:

She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. (Matthew 1:21)

In a dream, the angel of the Lord told Joseph concerning his wife, “She will bear a Son”. This event would certainly come to pass. Nothing could be done to stop or prevent Mary’s pregnancy. What Joseph may have wished to happen did not matter, for if God deems that something will happen, it will happen.

The angel of the Lord commanded Joseph, “And you shall call His name Jesus”. Jesus means Saviour. He is the Anointed One— the Messiah. Through His life, Jesus would bring about dramatic change, but not the change which many had expected. At His first coming, Jesus did not disturb the world order. He didn’t overthrow the Roman government and restore governing power to Israel. He didn’t launch an assault against the Gentiles, nor did He make Himself the ruling king of the known world. In short, Jesus did not lead an army so that He could reign over the earth.

At His second coming, Jesus will reign over the earth (the book of Revelation describes the bloody scene leading up to Jesus’ reign). However, if Jesus had not come for a different purpose the first time, then no man would be able to dwell in His kingdom. God is perfect in holiness; He requires man to have a perfect record. All men have fallen incredibly short of this standard of perfection. Not even the animal sacrifices offered up to God in the Old Testament times were enough to blot out man’s innumerable sins. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. (Hebrews 10:4)

Jesus did something of infinite greatness at His first coming. No words can fully describe this supreme act of sovereign love. Jesus told His disciples, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) That is what Jesus did: He laid down His life— He died. But death did not hold Him, He defeated the grave! He rose again! He did what only God can do, He saved His people from their sins.

Related Posts:
Isaiah’s Prophecy: It’s Fulfillment (Part 1) – Matthew 1:22-23
Joseph, Do Not Be Afraid to Take Mary as Your Wife – Matthew 1:20
Joseph’s Dilemma – Matthew 1:19
The Virgin Birth – Matthew 1:18
The Lineage of the Messiah – Matthew 1:1-17

Remember the reason for the season

The world has so changed Christmas. They have it as just a day of celebration. Sure, some might know generally what it means. But, they don’t realize the true meaning. And, it’s not just what the song say, “The giving of love every day.” Although that is a start.

Ttrue love is unconditional. It doesn’t matter what you do, God loves you. A person who has not received Christ’s forgiveness has chosen to go his or her own way. Isaiah 53: 6 says, “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned each one to his own way. And the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all.”

This is the time of year when we should celebrate the fact that God gave that love to us. He did so by giving Jesus to us. And, Jesus being God the Son, it also means that God came for us. He gave of Himself.

See, it’s all about giving, but not the way the world thinks. The world tries to get you to spend money to buy things for others. But, we give things because it’s symbolic of what God gave us. We don’t have to give gifts at Christmas. We could give gifts anytime. If you give gifts, that’s fine. Romans 14 teaches that we shouldn’t judge someone because they choose to celebrate a certain day, as long as they are honoring God. But don’t let that draw you into the world’s view of Christmas. Remember to keep Jesus first.

Second, quite a few families – especially with children – remember the meaning by singing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. That’s great; especially if you make a cake since you can eat it. Seriously, though, it’s great to remember Jesus’ birthday. But, while we’re on the subject of giving, birthdays are another time when we give gifts, right?

So, what are you giving Jesus?

We can give Him our time, our commitment, our love, our devotion. We can give Him praise and glory through how we treat others and tell others about Him. We can give Him so much. So, my second reminder to you is, as you remember the true meaning of Christmas – that Jesus came to die for our sins and rise from the dead – don’t just say “Happy birthday” and forget about Him. Give Him a gift that keeps on giving.

Finally, to tie these 2 thoughts together, remember how great that gift is that God gave.

People can give great things. I have a great uncle who remembers the Great Depression. His dad, my great grandfather, was going to lose the family’s home, which he’d built about 7 years earlier. He tells the story of how Pop went to see a great aunt who was quite rich for that time. She gave them the money to save their house, and then some left over. My great uncle says they felt like they were rich.

That was a great gift their Aunt Kate gave. Except for organ/bone marrow donations, it’s probably among the greatest gifts a person can give. Still, it is nothing when compared to the fact Jesus came to become sin for us. (2 Cor. 5: 21) He came to save us from the penalty of hell, which each of us deserves because of our sin. However, those of us who have trusted in Him to save us are not under that penalty anymore. We are passed from death unto life. (John 5:24, 1 John 3:14)

Think about that. Even someone who donates an organ, or bone marrow, can only give someone a normal healthy life span at best. (And that isn’t always a guarantee.) But, God’s gift to us makes sure that all who receive it have everlasting life in God’s perfect heaven, and relationship with Him on earth.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son. That whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3: 16)

Think of the certainty that gives. That last part – Jesus Himself guarantees that that believer will have everlasting life. But, later we read that those who do not believe (that is, heart knowledge, not just head knowledge) will not see life.

Thus, we must make it our goal to tell others. And, to show Christ’s love to others through our actions as well as our words.

“The giving of love every day,” as the song says? Only because Christ’s followers are to be known by their love. We must show Christ, and tell others about Him, in this lost and dying world.

Visiting the Holiday Open House, at the small center near my home, is a tradition I enjoy each year. This event, held one evening each November, ushers in the Christmas season. Visitors are offered a cup of hot cider and encouraged to take their time browsing in the lovely shops. Everything is festive and beautiful inside, while outside, thousands of lights twinkle and carolers serenade people walking from one place to another.

This year, while browsing, I noticed a shelf full of Christmas cards. Some pictured beautifully-decorated Christmas trees. Others had reindeer, snowmen or angels. As I searched through the many boxes of cards, I didn’t see any with Nativity scenes on them. In fact, there were no Nativities on display anywhere in the store. One particular card captured my attention and caused me to ponder. It had no message, only a picture of Father Christmas with his white whiskers, and long, fur-trimmed, red coat.

Father Christmas? I reflected. I know who the real Father of Christmas is and it’s not the person pictured on that card.

As my eyes beheld the beautiful decorations all around me, I thought how sad that humankind has substituted traditions, decorations and make-believe for the real reason we celebrate.

Don’t they realize that even without these things, there would still be Christmas? This beautiful season is not about buying things. It has always been, and always will be, a special time to remember Someone born in a manger, many years ago. He is the true Father of Christmas. Without Him we would have no cause to celebrate, no reason to sing “O Little Town of Bethlehem” or “Away in a Manger.” His life showed the way to Heaven and His death provided forgiveness for sins. Believing in Him is the only way to bring true joy to our hearts and “Joy to the World.”

As I continued browsing, these thoughts eventually left me, and by the time I arrived home, my heavy heart had lifted. Sad thoughts had been replaced with the remembrance that many people, like me, have met the real Father of Christmas. Yes, we may include glitter and traditions in our holiday celebration, but our hearts are focused on the true reason for the season. Like the shepherds of old, we have discovered the Baby in the manger. We have invited Him into our lives, and because of this, we can celebrate Christmas in our hearts, all year long.

And what about you?  Have you met the real Father of Christmas?

I met Darlene through a comment she left on my web page about “A Gift for Henry”. I came to find out that she had lost her husband, Steve, due to congestive heart failure and that he had died in her arms a few years ago. Knowing this I could only imagine how painful this time of year must be for her and wanted to do something to let her know that God sees her hurt and pain and that He cares. Three wishes is God’s special gift to Darlene this Christmas.

Three Wishes

Darlene regarded the Christmas decorations in her local grocery store glumly. She hated this time of year. Absolutely hated it! All it did was accentuate the sadness that she always carried in her heart like a heavy lead balloon. As a kid she had enjoyed the holidays as much as anyone else but all that had changed three years ago when her husband, Steve, had died in her arms of heart failure.

She sighed, fighting back the tears that welled up in her eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. She wasn’t going to cry in the check-out line! Not in front of all these strangers!

The box boy stuffed the last of her groceries into the bag and Darlene hurried out, her head down, her shoulders beginning to shake. She got into her car, her hands trembling with the grief she tried to suppress and yet couldn’t. She let her head drop onto the steering wheel and allowed the tears to come. She missed him. She couldn’t help it. Even after a few years, there was still a big hole in her heart that just wouldn’t heal.

Oh, Stevie…she thought to herself, not for the last time. If only we had had more time together…if only your heart hadn’t been sick…if only…

Darlene violently brushed the tears from her cheeks and started the car. She didn’t want to go down that road again. She had to get home, unload the groceries alone without help and get some dinner for herself. The very idea depressed her beyond belief. She turned the key in the ignition and maneuvered out of the parking lot. She made to turn right, but the car suddenly had other ideas. It turned left. It shocked her so much she just gaped. Then the gas pedal depressed itself and the car began speeding up and driving itself. Darlene sat back and watched in shock as the car continued to steer, turning down streets she was unfamiliar with, stopping and starting without assistance from her, wondering where on earth her car was taking her and why. For some reason she felt no panic but a few times she caught the shocked glances of people in other cars as she half-heartedly smiled and waved at them as her car turned a corner without her assistance. Once or twice she gripped the steering wheel and tried to steer the way she wanted and to brake but the car was completely unresponsive.

Why fight it? She thought to herself and sat back to watch what would happen. A half hour passed, then 45 minutes and the car was on the main highway heading north. Before she knew it, she had nodded off to sleep.

She awoke when the car came to a stop, not remembering what had happened and wondering if she was asleep, dreaming she was awake. She looked around and found herself and her car in a tiny parking lot in front of a little cottage, brightly lit with cheerful Christmas lights and a wreath on the door. There was nothing else in site.

She got out of the car feeling stiff from her unexpected nap. She went up to the door of the cottage which was bright red, and knocked. Hopefully whoever lived there would let her use the phone or give her directions on how to get back home before the milk spoiled. She knocked twice.

“Come in, Darlene!” said a voice that made her heart skip a beat. A voice she had not heard in years but a voice that was dearly beloved and familiar all the same. Heart pounding, she walked into the little cottage. There was a fireplace with a cheery fire crackling away, a Christmas tree with ornaments that looked strangely familiar and her favorite Christmas music playing on the stereo that she hadn’t played in years because it had hurt too much to listen to it.

“Welcome, home, sweetheart!” said the voice again and Darlene felt arms wrapping around her like a warm cocoon.

“Stevie?” she sobbed, turning around to face what must surely be a dream or a ghost. “Is it really you?”

“Yes, dear,” he responded with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry we had to bring you here the way we did and that it took so long but I hope the memory we make will be worth it to you.”

“We? Memory?” Darlene repeated, completely bewildered. She stepped back out of Steve’s arms for a moment and rubbed her eyes, unable to believe she was seeing what she was seeing. Steve stepped forward again and gently took her hands into his.

“I’m sorry I have ruined the holidays for you.” He said, he eyes truly sorrowful. “I didn’t want to leave you at all, you know, but my heart wasn’t made to last as long as everyone else’s. Can you forgive me?”

“It’s just that I miss you so much.” Darlene said, the tears spilling down again. “I have wished so often that I could just have you with me just one more time, just a little bit longer…”

Steve took her face gently into his hands and smiled at her. “Wish granted.” He whispered and embraced her again. This time Darlene did not pull away. She melted into his embrace and allowed herself the luxury of breathing in the scent of his hair and his clothes without all the medicine smells that he had used to carry later in life when his heart began to fail. After a few moments, Steve parted them with a smile and reached for one of the grocery bags. “Here, let me help you with that.” He said, hefting it up easily.

“No! I’ll get it!” Darlene protested, falling back into the routine of doing most of the lifting herself because of his weak heart.

“Not necessary!” Steve said, grabbing both effortlessly. “No more bad heart!” He led her into the tiny but charming kitchen and took the groceries out one at a time. Instead of the dull, boring regular items she always got, she stared in amazement as Steve pulled out their favorite beverages, foods, and treats they used to share one at a time. It was a gourmet feast and it was already prepared and hot. Together they sat down at the table where candlelight glowed and ate and talked for hours. Then they cuddled up onto the couch together in front of the fire and the tree, listening to soft Christmas music together.

“I don’t want this moment to end.” Darlene said at last, knowing the moment for her departure was approaching soon. Steve laid a gentle kiss on her forehead and held her close.

“Do you remember our last moments together?” he whispered.

Darlene choked on her sobs, the raw wound opening up again. “Of course I do! How could I ever forget a moment like that?” she said, her heart aching. Steve held her closer and looked deeply into her eyes, his face serious.

“Darlene, I always knew I would not live very long and have a normal life span. I also knew it would be unfair to whoever I married and my kids because of it… but I was selfish asked God to grant me three wishes: 1) That I would be able to marry the woman I love, 2) that I could be a father (no matter how they turned out), and 3)…”

Steve paused, his own eyes filling with tears.

“Three?” repeated Darlene, wondering what it could be.

Steve sighed deeply and held her closer. “…that when it was finally my time to leave this earth and go to heaven, I would die in the arms of the person who loved me best in this life…You.

“God gave me all three of my wishes and now He has granted this one for you. He has given you one more memory…a little more time…just a taste of the joy of our being reunited in heaven so you can still go on with your life in this world and grieve a little bit less, knowing how well I loved you and how I still love you and that I’m waiting for you. The time is growing short when we will be together again forever but until that day comes, I want you to live each day knowing that I’m still loving you and caring about you. Try to find joy again in the little things again and I’ll be right there, sharing it with you. Can you do that for me?”

“I’ll try.” Darlene smiled weakly, wishing she could stay in that little cottage with him forever.

“Now lay your head on my shoulder and go to sleep,” said Steve, holding her close, “and when you wake you’ll be back to your regular life but remember that you always carry my love and my heart inside your own.”

“Okay,” whispered Darlene, clutching him tightly. “I’ll remember. I promise.”

“That’s my girl,” Steve smiled, caressing her head until she fell asleep.

Darlene awoke with a start and looked around her. The cottage was gone and so were the tree, fireplace and Steve. She was back in her little home but there on the table was the most beautiful arrangement of snow-white and deep red flowers she had ever seen. She picked up the tiny envelope and withdrew the little card that had Steve’s handwriting on it and instead of crying…she smiled.

THE END

For we do not mourn as those who have no hope for we know that if Christ is raised so also shall we be raised, and our loved ones who died in faith as well so that we can look forward to being  reunited with them.