Success and Failure Blog

“If any one of you is WITHOUT sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her… At this, those who heard BEGAN TO GO AWAY ONE AT A TIME, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.” JOHN 8:7&9

Something dynamic just took place here that is often overlooked. The men who brought the adulterous woman to Jesus to convict her suddenly were SELF-AWARE of THEIR sin.

They were confronted by their sin, as was the woman in that moment. In their interaction with Christ THEIR SINS were opened, if not to the public at least to their conscience!

However, instead of joining this woman at the feet of Jesus they WALKED AWAY. They didn’t want to DEAL with their sin. They didn’t want to deal with the DIRT that was on them.

What’s beautiful is that the non-religious adulterous woman DIDN’T LEAVE. As Jesus knelt down to doodle in the ground and the Pharisees started to leave one-by-one, she COULD HAVE quietly slipped away as well.

When she was in the presence of God she received the GRACE that was being freely offered and allowed Jesus to CLEANSE and FORGIVE her sin that had dirtied up her life.

Sometimes we do not want to come to Jesus dirtied with sin. Sometimes it’s EASIER to just slip away quietly and not have to deal with the very thing that is dirtying up our life.

My sons Kaleb (5 years old) and Joshua (3 years old) were playing outside one day. Kaleb thought it would be funny to dump dirt on Joshua’s head. Joshua came crying to the front door and he looked up at me with dirt all over him. As his tears were making mud streaks down his face he said to me in his raspy-scratchy-husky little voice, “Boo Boo (his name for Kaleb) dumped dirt on me.”

I snapped at Kaleb and told him to never do that again, but then I looked at Josh (with dirt all over him) and my heart melted.

I brushed the dirt off his head and gave him a kiss. I remember tasting dirt but it didn’t matter because of my love for him. I took him inside and gave him a bath to make him fresh and clean again.

The next day they were outside and Kaleb did it again. I reprimanded him and embraced Joshua (again) and all his dirt.

As a father I did not reject my son. I only rejected the dirt that’s on my son. It is my love for him that continuously chooses to clean him up. It’s my love for him that spurs on such a deep commitment for care and cleansing.

It would break my heart if Joshua did not come to me OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER again to be cleaned up. I would always have a passion to rid him of the dirt that was on him.

God is the same way with us. Regardless if we are embarrassed, if we feel shame or guilt He so desires for us to come to Him and cleanse us from our wrong doing (no matter what it is).

Today, choose not to be like the Pharisees and walk away. Not letting the Lord cleanse you from the sin that dirties up your life.

However, learn something from the adulterous woman, in this sense – that once she was confronted with her sin, she DID NOT walk from Jesus but STAYED at His feet and RECEIVED forgiveness.

When we own up to our sin and allow ourselves to be transparent before the Lord it is at that point we can have the freedom we long for and we can walk clean again before our Maker.

“My command is this: Love each other as I HAVE LOVED YOU.” JOHN 15:12

When I read this verse I can’t help but think about the subject of FORGIVENESS (among other things), and here’s why. When we love like Jesus loved, then we begin to FORGIVE like He FORGAVE.

In LUKE 23:34 Jesus said, “Father, FORGIVE THEM, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Here Jesus is being wrongfully punished, like a criminal and yet His prayer to God was to ask Him to FORGIVE these people. This forgiveness could ONLY BE MADE out of LOVE.

His love CAUSED Him to EXTEND FORGIVENESS in the midst of abuse and being mistreated.

When we DO NOT forgive we ARE NOT operating with the same LOVE that Christ had or has.

EMBRACING the fact that Jesus forgives you and I SHOULD give us the STRENGTH to forgive others.

Growing up, I was very fortunate because my dad modeled how to say, “I’m sorry.” But he didn’t stop there. He taught me how to forgive.

Many times my dad would sit me down and admit some fault that he committed against me.

It typically was something like, “I’m sorry that I flew off the handle.” “I’m sorry that I didn’t give you an opportunity to share your side of the story.” “I’m sorry that I spoke to you in that manner.”

My typical knee-jerk response was to tell him it was okay. But he would fire back and tell me it was not okay and then he would solicit something from me. He would ask, “Will you forgive me?” To which I always would say, “Yes” and then he and I would move on from there.

My father’s humility taught me a few things: One, real men admit when they’re wrong. Two, it’s okay to ask for forgiveness, and, three, the IMPORTANCE of granting said forgiveness.

Forgiveness is NOT an easy subject to embrace, simply because it comes with a lot of different emotions. At times we may have difficulty exercising forgiveness. WHY? Because the pain caused by others runs deep.

However, we still need to remember that Jesus said for us to love others as HE HAS LOVED US (JOHN 15:12).

Jesus was all about RECONCILIATION and RESTORATION. He was NOT ABOUT revenge, writing people off, and holding people in bondage to past mistakes.

When we HOLD people hostage to their past behavior, they’re trapped by our bitterness. Our hurt imprisons them to their past mistakes; so they’re jailed. And for some… they may not even know it.

When we DON’T FORGIVE, not only do we hold people hostage to their mistakes, but also, we become IMPRISONED by our very own UNFORGIVENESS. We IMPRISON ourselves to the pain caused by others.

Unforgiveness is like a magnet that draws the enemy in. Satan convinces us that we have the right to be angry (forever) and he stirs the pot of negative emotions, which produces that sick feeling inside, and not only does it imprison others but us as well.

God desires for us to FORGIVE and live FREE from past hurt and bitterness.

Remember, we’re the jailer and we have the “key” of forgiveness. The question is will we CHOOSE to use the key to set others and ourselves free?

“Anyone, then, who KNOWS the good he ought to DO and DOESN’T do it, SINS.” JAMES 4:17

Can we just be adults about this verse? I mean, let’s not avoid the sin issue in our life.

We seem to understand that when we DO something wrong it’s a sin; especially breaking the law, etc. What we seem to forget is that when we DON’T DO something that we KNOW is the RIGHT thing to do, that very well could be a SIN ALSO; especially when the Lord is asking something of us.

The general context here in doing good is to take God into every aspect of our lives and 100% depend on him. If we know we SHOULD DO this and yet we PURPOSEFULLY CHOOSE NOT TO we are sinning.

However, there is a broader application to this verse; kind of like little 13-month-old Emry.

My wife Tiffany watches a beautiful little girl name Emry. She has lots of personality and spunk.

The other day Emry pushed open the bathroom door downstairs.

Tiffany heard her saying, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” She walked around the corner into the bathroom to see Emry holding her sunglasses and dunking them in the toilet. Tiffany said, “Emry…” and before she could say another word, Emry looked up at her with her baby blue eyes and said, “No, No,” as she continued to dunk Tiffany’s sunglasses in the toilet.

Tiffany just shook her head and went into cleaning and disinfecting mode. By the way, there was nothing in the toilet. THANK YOU JESUS!

Tiffany thought, “Emry was telling herself no because she KNEW in her little heart that what she was DOING was probably wrong but yet she willfully chose to continue to dunk my sunglasses in the toilet.”

What’s crazy is that we as adults are guilty of the very same thing. We DO things that we know we SHOULDN’T do and we DON’T do things that we know we SHOULD do. The difference between Emry and us is that it’s cute when Emry does it as she’s LEARNING to obey and deal with her sin nature for the first time in life. Many of us have been walking on this planet for decades and yet we still do what a 13-month-old child does… Just in different ways.

We need to understand that yes we have a gracious, loving, merciful heavenly Father who is ready to FORGIVE and FORGET when we confess our sins. Jesus will forgive even if we DELIBERATLEY do or not do something that would be considered a sin.

The challenge for today is to put some effort into NOT sinning by what we DO or what we DON’T do.

May we NOT take for granted the grace that God is so willing to give us in 1 JOHN 1:9 – “If we CONFESS our sins He is FAITHFUL and JUST to FORGIVE us of our sins and CLEANSE us from all UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.”

Let’s remember that we’re NOT as cute as Emry and we need to choose to watch our DO’S and DON’TS moving forward.

The climb at first sight seems unattainable and risky but when you include a team of experts with your calculations than you see the end in sight. This is true with anything you do from scaling that rock wall to chartering a plane to Haiti’s; you plan using others input to make your plan come together. So, you would also need others to guide you on your journey to your heart.

My experts consist of counselors, pastors, Holy Spirit, Bible, authors, and church family they know me best. Trying to make this journey on my own would take me nowhere really fast. I tried that once and it was a disastrous to think I could accomplish what others do in a day, month, a year. Silly really…

Why did I think I could do this on my own? Let me give an example that the Holy Spirit gave me:
Looking across Lake Bountiful (my name for lake) I saw Jesus Christ on the opposite shore. I thought gazing at the water it would be a short distance I can swim this. So, I set out at an easy pace and found that there was a under current and looking up at the shore I wasn’t any closer. Getting tired I turned back and found myself back at my side of the lake. Scanning the shore I notice a boat and pulled it over and got in and set the oars to start my journey again. Again, my focus was not on Jesus Christ but my ability to pull on the oars to glide across the water. Looking behind me I wasn’t going across but going down stream. “AWWW!” Turning the boat around and focusing on the horizon and rowing at the same time was hard and tiring. I was caught in whirl pool spinning me out of control and was back on my side of the shore. “Aw!” Dropping to my knees I cried “Lord, help! I can’t do this on my own. It looked so simple. I thought I could do this. I was wrong. Please, Lord Help.” Standing up I gazed across the water and I found myself staring into my Father’s eyes the bluest of blues and I reach out and I was in His arms and He held me tight.

When you experience the arms of Christ and His forgiveness it transforms you to another place and person. All of sudden you are not alone in your plans for your future you are asking for others input. You are praying for God’s will be done in your life. The Holy Spirit pricks your heart and you begin to change and forgive. Why? The Lord forgave me of my sins for He gave up His life for me. So, I can have a life with Him. A relationship that brings tears to my eyes… When I think of all He has done for me and is still doing for me; my heart wells with love.

My Jesus is real and there is nothing I can do that will send Him away. He says in his word that He will never leave me or forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5) The Lord has a plan for me for hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) The Lord fights for me. (Deuteronomy 3:21) There is hope for a tree if it be cut down it will sprout again.(Job 14:7)

Do you know that the door is always open (John 10:9) for you. When you approach this door do it with boldness (Hebrews 4:16). Focus your eyes on the prize which is Jesus Christ. God raised us up with Jesus Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 2:6) We who are sealed with Christ have everlasting life. But, you who do not know Jesus Christ and is still playing at the gate will have fire and damnation. We do not know when are time is up on this earth we can die tonight in a car crash. Do you want to take that chance?

The Lord is waiting for you to come out of this world. I lived in this world through some horrific times do I want to repeat that time? No!!! My time now is hard with unemployment but the Lord keeps blessing me with His presence and His provisions. Life is good. My hope is in the Lord. I trust Him with my life and future. I can’t imagine life without Him. He is the hand that guides my walk I do nothing without Him. Jesus is light to my darkness.

Come to the waters of Lake Bountiful and give your life to the one whom will turn your tears into hope. In His arms you will find rest from your burdens. In His arms you will find peace that passes all understanding. In His arms you find refuge and strength in times of trouble. In His arms your heart will flourish and grow in the likeness of your Father. In His arms you will have eternal life in Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Lord that I do not have to do this life alone. You have given me eyes to see and ears to hear. You have given me a church family that prays for me and we have life together.

I pray Lord, that you draw your people to yourself and impart your Holy Spirit to live in their lives. Give them wisdom and strength to walk this path. Put your angels around about them keeping them safe. Bless them, extend their boundaries, and keep them from evil in Jesus Christ name. Amen.

Does My “Ex” Want Me Back?

I had one of those “my ex-wants me back dreams” the other night. If you have not experienced one of these, I liken it to the dreams where I make a regrettable choice. I have one such dream where, being an ex smoker, I casually light up a cigarette. I feel at first, caught by the surprise of the feeling of satisfaction as I draw in a breath. But this is quickly disrupted by a sense of foreboding and instant remorse. All of the “ex wants me back dreams” are the same. Things seem casual and light, then my dream mind starts reeling knowing I am about to make bad choice.

That all said, this “ex-wants me back” dream was not like that at all. This dream was different. I did not have the predictable emotions: like the satisfaction “winning” my ex back or the confusion of making choices I was not given in real life. So, I woke up puzzled. I found that in the dream, I was just simply feeling kind. I had this genuine forgiving heart. Unlike the previous “ex” dreams my dream mind did not jump ahead to what my actions all might mean. My dream mind didn’t retreat into digging up the past to find ammunition, or fuel to fend off making a regrettable decision. My dream mind just observed what was happening, and I just was kind. In the dream my “ex” even questioned the change in me. My dream self told my dream “ex” that it was all because I (more…)

I Can’t Deny that Forgiveness is Good but…

Years ago whenever I heard teachings on forgiveness, I didn’t listen too closely because I felt I was a very forgiving person. There are many wise sayings about forgiveness, and I could pay them all lip service, but I didn’t need them. And while forgiveness can be considered a “spiritual” matter for some, the Mayo clinic acknowleges the importance of forgiveness. Still, I fooled myself into believing that forgiveness was not a problem for me.

Dismisal Hinders Forgiveness

Before taking steps on “how to forgive” It is important to acknowlege a need to forgive or be forgiven. Part of the problem may have been misunderstanding whatforgivenss means. I was mistaking “write off” for (more…)

You know, betrayals and disappointments are common occurences in our daily lives, they hurt deeply that insecurity becomes the only result thereby building a brick wall to a peaceful relationship with others. Often times, we rule out love from our hearts against those that have hurt us deeply because if they had genuine love, they wouldn’t have hurt us like they did, they wouldn’t have said what they said, they wouldn’t have divorced us, they wouldn’t have stabbed us in the back, they wouldn’t have told on us with the wrong intentions, they wouldn’t have taken what rightfullly belonged to us, bla,  bla, bla……….. The truth is, people have hurt us one way or the other and we have also hurt other people (maybe* not as much as we’ve been hurt).  However intense the hurt may be, i’ll like you to ponder on this.
The intensity of the pain we feel when people betray us and even disappoint us is also thesame way God feels whenever we fail Him or pretend to genuinely love him.

Genesis 1:27
So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Let me reiterate, the intensity of the pain we feel when people betray (to fail or desert us especially in time of need) us, is also the way God hurts when we fail Him. Because we are created in God’s image and likeness, everything He is, we are, however He feels, we feel, etc Our hurts are as a result of people failing us, betraying us, deserting us – so also God. God hurts when we do not show him that we love Him by doing what he has commanded us to do, or we keep going back to our wicked and sinful ways; John 14 vs 23 & 24; and when we continually disobey Him, the Holy Spirit grieves.

Ephesian 4:30
And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

Let me tell you my little secret – When people hurt me (they always will, while some do it on purpose others hurt you without knowing), however painful it gets I just turn to God and say, for the countless times I might have hurt you and grieved the holy Spirit without knowing, please forgive me and also, forgive the one that has hurt me because they’ve only drawn me closer to you. Guess what? He releases His peace in my heart……(Fulfilling His Word in John 14:27).
 Don’t dwell on the the negative things people have said or done to you, instead, turn to God and ask for the special grace to please Him. That way, He’ll teach you to walk right with Him, give you the peace that surpasses human understanding and reward you with that which you truly deserve.

           When the sky meets the earth a miracle happens and man says its science. The eyes of the unseen have not the sight to see that no big bang could ever achieve such greatness. If they were given the eyes to see they would see with a newness of spirit the brilliance of this creation. They wouldn’t be concern with the environment, instead focus their eyes on the creator who made it and will keep renewing it.        

            We are all concern for our future and not on our relationship with our Lord. We have become self-absorb with our needs that we stop focusing on our path to freedom. We forgot that all roads lead to Christ. 

            I have been rereading Matthew 15:1-20 it’s not about washing your hands that make you unclean but what comes out of your mouth from your heart that makes you unclean.  I knew that I had unclean thoughts and I was closed off not just from the Lord but from others. My angry, sickness, and depression were outward signs that not all was well. It is time to stop the deception and ask for forgiveness. 

            I am sorry Lord that I have been consumed with me and my issues that I removed myself from everything around me. I have kept my issues close to me and not giving them to you.  I have walled up my heart so I couldn’t be hurt by anyone, Lord. I was keeping my distance because I was angry with you. I give you my heart that you will take from it the dark places that makes me stumble. In the place of the dark places put peace, joy, perseverance, long suffering, and love.  Encompass about me songs of deliverance that will permeate everything around me like a cocoon of safety that I may grow in your likeness until the day you come. 

            We cannot run far enough away from our Father’s love for us. The signs of HIS love are all around us from the big bright sun to the delicate tiny fingers of a new born baby His love permeates everything around us. 

            We are the Lord’s one small miracle after another. You were created to be loved by the Father. There is nothing you have done that the Lord won’t chase after you like HE did for me. 

            One thing I have learned through my journey is HE NEVER gives up on me.             

            (Your Name) is greatly blessed, highly favored and deeply loved. By Jesus Christ.

The  massive 9.1 earthquake in Japan recently has many people fearing the worst-world end!  Combined with other world earthquakes, tsunamis, floods, famines, global warming , and extreme weather conditions there is evidence of other troubling issues across the globe.  There have been out breaks of new health threats like H1N1, and terrible diseases without known cure, pestilence problems like the recent epidemic of bed bugs, and a surge of violence and criminal activity greater than ever before.  Our economy seems to get worse by second and the crippling effects of hard financial times can be seen and felt all over the world.  Many fear these terrible things are clues that point out disaster.  Could this be a severe warning of catastrophe?  What can be done to prevent this horrible outcome, and is it too late?  What can we do as individuals and families  to ready ourselves and be prepared for the future?  Can anyone escape from this terrible threat?  With so many gripped  with fear and bracing for worst, these are the type of questions that fill the hearts and minds of people today.  The answers to these crucial questions have been discovered and the outcome is astounding and may come as quite a shock . 

 The bible warns of these same concerns and very issues.  It is written clearly for all to read.  These hardships and major world issues should not come as a surprise to the discerning person. All of the events that are taking place have been foretold in the bible and if you have not yet read these scriptures, you may be surprised to see how accurate and detailed these prophetic messages actually are.

Matthew 24:5-8 (Amplified Bible) ⁵For many will come in (on the strength of) My name [^[b]appropriating the name which belongs to Me], saying, I am the Christ (the Messiah), and they will lead many astray.   ⁶And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not frightened or troubled, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. ⁷For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in place after place; ⁸All this is but the beginning [the early pains] of the ^[c]birth pangs [of the ^[d]intolerable anguish].

 It is amazing how these prophecies, written so long ago, so accurately depict the picture of our world condition today.  This world is definitely spiraling towards a great tribulation.  As seen in the previous scripture of Matthew 24:8 all of these things are just the beginning of a time of  the intolerable anguish that lie ahead.  As terrible as things are today, they appear to be just a taste of the great tribulation to come.  These words and promises are not meant as a source of fear and dismay.  On the contrary, these prophecies are words of hope and offer peace in a world of a turmoil.  There is another scripture that reveals salvation from the aweful terrors that are to come.   You see if we can identify the truth in these prophecies we should also not be oblivious to the hope that is available.  There is hope and there is a way of escape from the terrible times that are most certainly and rapidly approaching.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18   ¹³ And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died^[f] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. ¹⁴ For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.  ¹⁵ We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died.^{[g] 16} For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died^[h] will rise from their graves. ¹⁷ Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. ¹⁸ So encourage each other with these words. 

Clearly the ultimate source of hope for humanity is found in Christ Jesus.  He lived here on this planet amongst us and performed many great miracles.  He healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, restored hearing to the deaf, cast out unclean spirits and raised the dead and still His greatest miracle was His greatest sorrow and greatest joy. 

He gave up His life for us.  He was brutally beaten and mocked and hung on the cross for death.  He died there in a place called Calvary.  Despite the fact that He had never sinned and remained clean His whole life, He took all of our sins upon Himself.    He  was buried in a tomb. Then just as it had been pre foretold, on the third  day He rose from the dead.  Jesus was resurrected from the dead!   Jesus is alive!  He later ascended to heaven and can now be found at the right hand of the Father.  He is our mediator, and friend.  He represents us earnestly with love and compassion.  That is the true message of Easter and by far the greatest news of this day and age. 

The events that are taking place right now in our world herald a great tribulation to come.  These events are the direct result of sin and evil.  No one on earth is perfect or without sin but according to bible there is a way to be saved from sin and the terrible events that are now unfolding right before our very eyes. 

Hebrews 9:28 (New Living Translation)²⁸ so also Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him.

1 Peter 1:5 (New Living Translation)⁵ And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.

Receiving the salvation and assurance of eternal life is as simple in believing in Jesus Christ and accepting the fact that you are in need of saving.  All one must do to be saved is ask Jesus to come into their heart and forgive   them of all their sins. Then God will make you a brand new creation and if you truly believe it, God will transform you and lead you and guide you during these uncertain times that we face.  Although we are not promised that we will not have to endure trials and tribulations, we are promised ultimate salvation through Jesus. 

Now is the time to pray and Jesus come into your heart.  He understands what you are going through and He will not be hard on you.  Jesus wants to save you.  But there is no guarantee how long we have before Jesus returns to get His people.  According to Matthew 24:36 “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.
  All those wait, thinking that time is on their side live in jeopardy and face the dangers of judgement and punishment for all eternity. 

Please take time right now, while there is still a chance and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior.  Tell others about the ,hope and love you have found.   Want to learn more?  Read the bible and begin attending church and studying God’s word daily.  Read more articles like this on the Success and Failure website. You too will learn that no matter what terrible fate this earth may face that there is truly great hope and complete assurance in God.   

 Yours in Christ Jesus,

Pam Shekailo

Please write to me if you more questions or concerns.  I would be happy to hear from you.

 Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness

grows up to trouble you,

corrupting many.

Hebrews 12:15 NLT

Remember watching the old poison tea trick in the movies. The angry person of the two, decides to sit down and have a friendly cup of tea with his enemy. The angry and bitter subject poisons the cup of tea that his enemy is supposed to drink. But, somehow; the wrong cup of tea is ingested. The bitter person drinks the poison and waits for the other to die. Surprise!

The same thing happened to the Coyote and The Road Runner. He would appear to be nice and put some bird seed out for the bird. The Road Runner would eat it and move on down the road. The Coyote, already in several disputes with ACME, gives the bird seed a nibble. He is instantly reduced to a cloud of smoke and an accordion body.

Who are we killing with bitterness? We spend all of our day dreaming up ways to spike the next tea, spread the next rumor, or go way (and I mean WAY!) out of ordinary routine to let someone know we are displeased with them. It does not seem that stupid while it’s going on. Until we realize that the investment in ACME has also wiped out our peace and joy account.

What do you say today we pick up the exploding bird seed and make things right? Does that mean the other person is going to change today? Nope! Does it mean we will? Yep! And at the end of the day, the only control we have over our neighbors is the example they see.

We were dancing

When the music stopped

I wondered where it had gone

I tried

to listen

to discern

What had happened to the beautiful music that had once played

The music that had

kept me

held me

Embraced me with so much love

I did not know where to turn

What would happen next

Would all the life be gone

Would I wake up and see that I was just another

Virgin without a lamp

Would I find out that I had

Chosen the wrong way

Taken a wrong turn

Taken my eyes off the One I love

Will I be the one

Who’s left

Never seeing

Never perceiving

Never knowing

Never Trusting

No I will NOT

Let this be said of me

I will be the one who

listens

hears

knows

I will be the one

giving

dancing

To the beautiful music

I will be the one embracing the One I love so…

Allow me this once more

To hear the music

Give me the freedom in You once more

To feel the rythm

To know the beat

To hear what others don’t

To walk that walk

Dance that dance

Love that love that I have known

~Bambi
March 30, 2010

I have been tormented lately with the inability to forgive my husband. It is not just one thing or something huge in which he has done to me. It starts with one comment or action that makes me feel less of a person than the bitterness sets in with other things he has done in the past for which I had previously (or at least thought I did) forgive him.

Sometimes it is as if I do not want to forgive him. Then I feel the Lord quietly telling me who am I to judge him according to whether he should be forgiven or not. As I will be judged as I judge others. Boy, oh boy, I do not want that, Lord.

I feel the Lord asking me to see him through His eyes. Sometimes it is easy then his mouth opens and something ungodlike comes out. Help me, Lord.

So the Lord reminds me, Mary, have you done everything perfectly today? Have you not done something today that may have irritated me, annoyed me, or angered me? Yes, Lord, I probably did. Did I forgive you, Mary? Yes, Lord, you always do! Then why should he not be forgiven? You are always right, Lord. Forgive me for being unable to forgive.

Unforgiveness leads to bitterness, anger, deception, depression, and most importantly a huge wall between God and yourself. This is not what you need or want in your life.

So, Lord, how do I rid myself of this anger and bitterness? Deliver me, Father, from my unforgiveness.
*acknowledge aloud the sin of unforgiveness in your life.
*acknowledge aloud the person who has committed this pain to you.
*acknowledge aloud the hurt which they inflicted upon you.
*Ask Father God, to rid you of these inflictions and iniquities and to take back this ground which Satan has stolen from you.

Staying free from your bitterness of a person, especially someone you need to deal with daily, is a daily process of
*asking the Lord to break down the wall that is separating us from Him.
*asking the Holy Spirit to help us forgive this person for all the wrongs against us.
*asking the Lord to allow us to see this person through His eyes.
*asking the Lord to help us love that person as He loves them – compassionately, with mercy, kindness, and without judgement.
*Father God, wipe the hurt and pain from heart, mind, and body that has been caused.

My husband wonders at times why I stare at him with a smile on my face. Those are the times that I am asking, Father God, to show me what He sees in him. All the good.

We are all born into evilness. And if someone wants to they can all look at us and only see the bad if they are not waliking steadily with the Lord. But if we are allowing God’s glorious light to shine upon us through daily prayer, dedication, and meditation. If we allow, God to control our lives instead of ourselves, we will see everyone the way H sees them – beautiful.

Amen, Father God, may all glory and honor be Yours, Almighty Father.

One man, made from the dust of the Earth, bears the historical responsibility for tearing apart the very fabric of creation.

This one man and his wife – “flesh of my flesh” ADAM, made in the likeness of loving Father and Creator God, succumbed to temptation, and did what some have described as irreparable damage. Irreparable to man that is. Certainly NOT irreparable to God!

They were cast out of their Eden for their sin, forced to till the soil for food, to work for shelter and bear children in pain. Generation after generation – uncountable through the eons was loved mercifully by their creator God. Every one of them known intimately, every hair on their heads counted, and still they struggled for freedom. Freedom which separated them further from the time, created with them solely in mind.

Evil perpetuated, sanctity negated, ‘leave me alone I will choose my own fate’ their perpetual cry! A gift once given can never be rescinded – freedom to choose, to decide, to live or to die.

Loudly we hear them proclaim “We want a king”, a ruler like the other nations have…… They have an eternal King whom they deny!

And still they cry out “We choose to worship”, as the other nations worship – but not you Lord God – just idols and beasts… we know you not!

And through it all God pondered and watched. His hand always at the ready to assist if asked, his heart crying in longing for his rebellious children.

Chances and opportunities were given time after time. Prophets, wise men, holy seers sent with tidings and announcements –to be ignored and cast out. Promises fulfilled yet evil spread its ugly manifestations.

The King looked down from the heavenly throne, crying in pain at the loss of his beloved children. The chosen ones, here since time began, have no direction, no way; the veil was in place and masked the view. The way was closed.

To bring them back to the home prepared, required the divine act of redemption! Through the very gift of himself, through life and love, from the Alpha and Omega only, could this be accomplished.

The Triune Godhead has always known that mankind would waiver between flesh and spirit. So offering himself, in perfect love, to repair the fabric that Adam had destroyed “The Word made flesh” would come.

The ‘Word’ spoken at creation, never absent and always alive, had chosen to be birthed, to live and die – fully human and fully divine. He would open up the way.

Would they listen, would they follow and obey? There was always a chance they would deny him. Time and again they had refused, why would this be any different we ask.

They were his own, his chosen ones, and live amongst them for thirty plus years he did. He taught them, led them, prayed with them and cried with them. He turned water into wine for their wedding feast and danced with them, healed them, cast out their demons – and still they doubted!

They saw in him an earthy conquer, one who would defeat the occupying forces in their land, but that was not who He was, and to his death they led him, without ever knowing the real reason for his coming. The times were cruel, evil reigned; rulers feared him, and the crowds were swayed! But he had known since before time began, that this was to be his destiny, and he came willingly to the eternal sacrifice as our redeemer.

For by so doing – his sacrifice would repair the rift caused by his Adam, and the veil would be forever destroyed and the way made open to any who chose to traverse his path.

I want to be with Him, forever, and He has promised I may. For He Lives. He is the first to rise from the dead. I cannot fathom what it took for Him to assume a human form, to live and to die – crucified for my past present and future sins. Yet he took it all upon his shoulders, mine yes! And the sins of every other human being since time began and still to be born.

Willingly he accepted this most terrible death……… he stared death in the face and defeated it. He stared evil in the face and defeated it. He sat at the right hand of God the Father, stared Him in the face and said ‘I love them Father, forgive them please.’Father, I want everyone you have given me to be with me, wherever I am. Then they will see the glory that you have given me, because you loved me before the world was created.
John 17:24 (Contemporary English Version)

One Man (ADAM) tore apart the fabric of creation, and in its place we find the veil. There was no access to Our Heavenly Father and evil prevailed.

One Man –Jesus, through his death tore apart the veil. He took upon his shoulders our iniquities; He opened the way to brings us home.

Freedom is ours to choose, what will it be? Jesus who is the way, the truth and the life, our eternal light – or eternal darkness?

I beg you – Choose life and light!

Our society teaches us to mask our emotions.  In fact, according to society’s standards, the better you are able to keep your emotions inside, the more ‘mature’ you are considered to be.   However, the Word of God shows us the opposite is true.  We could try to pretend that everything is ok, but even if we successfully deceive people, we cannot successfully deceive our enemy, and we most certainly cannot deceive God.

Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  Everyone you meet is going through something.  Life really boils down to a series of peaks and troughs, going up and down and in and out.  It doesn’t matter how well someone seems to manage his/her life, because we are all alive we are ebbing and flowing through life.  The truth is there can be no peak that is not preceded by a trough.  You cannot have a high unless you have previously experienced a low.

The Spirit of discernment, wisdom, and revelation knowledge is a superior degree of understanding that renders the previous level of understanding obsolete.
Recently I mentioned a situation I encountered with a loved one who said some destructive words about my life. From her perspective I’m sure she was simply trying to “help me understand the truth”… But Jesus said we shall know the truth and the truth shall make us free (John 8:32). The “truth” He is referring to is God’s truth, not a person’s opinion or conclusion. Therefore if a person’s opinion does not align with the Word of God, then it is not the truth and therefore it is worthless.

Period.

Nevertheless, for nearly a month I allowed my thoughts to drift to those destructive words. That was a huge mistake, even though I didn’t realize it right away. I prayed about the situation, but I did not apply the Word of God to it. My prayer should have been, “Lord, show me Your way.” Instead I prayed, “Lord, help me to stop thinking about this!” At the time, I felt like I was trapped in a dark room and all I wanted to do was get out. I didn’t realize that I was standing in front of the door to my freedom, but I could not bring myself to walk through it. Now I know that the only way out…… is through. We must walk through the door of forgiveness unless we want to remain in the prison that has held us captive. Otherwise the pain of our past is continually repeated in our lives. God was seeking to heal my heart and usher me through the door…….but I was too afraid. That door is unfamiliar to me…it looked scary and risky and would take way too much effort. So instead of asking God for life, I asked for death.

Whoa.

Yes, that’s right. I was asking God to deaden that part of my heart. Why should I stand up and deal with the issue when it would be much easier to simply run and hide?

But then I found out there is nowhere to hide.

The Word says,

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.

HEBREWS 4:12-13 NLT

We are each individually accountable to God…but what are we accountable for? What is God’s ultimate goal? To shape and mold each of us into His very own image and likeness. He wants to experience your love for Him more and more each day. He created you in order to love you and to love others through you. Since He is love, everything He does is motivated by love. He allows things to take place in your life that will continually fulfill His divine mission to transform you.

As a result…there is nowhere to hide.

You see, every single thought you have is naked and exposed before God’s eyes. Every thought. But the good news is this: He has given us the power to choose our thoughts. Since we are accountable to Him for our thoughts, when we choose to think good thoughts about hurtful situations, it brings glory to God. As we glorify Him, He is glorified in us! That doesn’t mean we feel good about being hurt…It means we choose to have a new way of thinking about the situation. We are to live from our spirit, which is where God dwells, not from our feelings, which is our flesh. That’s why walking in love is truly a miracle.

Your love walk begins with your thought life. Taking control of your thoughts is the first step toward the miracle of love.

Five minutes ago you may not have been thinking the right thoughts. But when you begin to meditate on the Word and think lovely and lovable thoughts, you cannot help but to have a different attitude. You have the POWER to choose your own thoughts! This is a supreme gift that is worth repeating over and over again.

Now, we know God does not force Himself on us in any way. However, He does have a way of pursuing us to surrender to Him. The reason I was trying to harden my heart to the pain I was experiencing is because a hardened heart is an emotion that is very familiar and comfortable for me. As difficult as it is to admit, I know this has been the way I have chosen to deal with these types of experiences in the past. It’s kind of like wearing an old pair of shoes. They may not be cute and they many not make you feel attractive, but boy are they comfortable!

But you know what? I’m ready to throw out those old, saggy, worn out shoes! I’m changing! I’m growing! Yes it took me a month to get clarity from God and move beyond this situation, but at least it didn’t take 3 months or 3 years! If you are engaging yourself in the Word, then you are also changing and growing! Hallelujah! Our future is not determined by our past!

But if you are not engaging yourself in the Word and continually renewing your mind with the Word, then you are relying only on what you’ve learned in the past and you are deceiving yourself.

How do you know when you’ve been deceived? You DON’T! Not until God reveals it to you through the Spirit of discernment, wisdom and revelation knowledge. So even though those negative thoughts infiltrated my mind, I tried to defeat them the wrong way. Eventually God showed me that I was being deceived and He helped me to lean into His pursuit of my heart. He gave me a twofold strategy and I’m so glad to say it is working! I now choose to consciously bring the situation, my loved one, and my heart before the Lord in prayer. Here is what I am doing:

1. Each time I think about the situation, I immediately pray for my loved one. I ask God to bless her in a special, extraordinary way that day. I ask Him to heal and restore her heart of any hurt she’s experienced in the past, and to help her forgive those who have hurt her, including me. I tell God how much I love her and I thank God for His love for her. I ask God to show her how special she is to Him, so that she will know she is beautiful and worthy of love and is thoroughly loved by Him. I ask God to ignite her spiritual growth so that she can learn to give love rather than rebuke. I ask God to help her love herself more, and I ask Him to bless our relationship so that we can be a testimony of forgiveness and restoration.

2. I apply the Word of God to the words that she said about my life and my ministry. I wrote down a few Scriptures and placed them up on my refrigerator since I’m usually in the kitchen alone with my thoughts when my mind drifts to the situation. (Remember satan’s plan: divide and conquer). The card is full of Scriptures that remind me of who I am in Christ. Each time I read it I get more and more excited about God’s vision for my life.

When you are experiencing destructive thoughts, know that satan’s goal is to gain momentum in your mind so he can ultimately gain momentum in your life. This is a spiritual strategy of war and there is only one way to stop his momentum – by using a spiritual weapon of warfare. One of those weapons is the Word of God. The power of God’s Word is stronger than your willpower. As your thoughts drift to unhealthy thoughts, you cannot simply tell yourself to stop thinking about it. I’ll give you an example. Right now, I want you to try not to think about jumping out of an airplane. Try not to imagine the wind in your face and the ground many thousands of feet below. Try not to think about your parachute. Try not to even think about the plane.

How well did that go for you? My guess is you saw each of those things in your mind. Our mind and the spirit world around us is made up of messages. These messages are carried in absolute terms. Therefore the words “not” or “don’t” have no effect. The message is still received. Here’s another example: do a search in Google that begins with the word “not”. Like “not eating junk food”. What comes up? Every single title has the word “junk food” in it…because that’s the input – the message – you gave it.

So it’s easy to see how ineffective it is to try to simply ‘think’ our way out of a pattern of negative thoughts. Eventually those thoughts will return because we cannot defeat satan in our own strength. The only other way is to SPEAK your way out of the pattern of negative thoughts. You can’t turn off your mind, but you can re-direct your thoughts by speaking out loud something else that may be 100% contrary to your thoughts. Try it! God’s Word really is ALIVE and POWERFUL! Get yourself a few Scriptures – even one will do – and speak them out loud over your situation every time you have a destructive thought. Visit “Inspired to Triumph“ and use those Scriptures as a starting point to stop satan’s momentum and put the ball back in your own court. Taking control of your thoughts is a learned behavior that requires a lifelong commitment. Fortunately we don’t have to deal with our entire lives at this very moment. All you need to do is make a conscious decision to change your thoughts by speaking God’s Word now. That’s what it means to sow a thought, and as the saying goes:

“Sow a Thought, and you reap an Act; sow an Act, and you reap a Habit; sow a Habit, and you reap a Character; Sow a Character, and you reap a Destiny.”

Key #4 to Happiness – Forgiving Others

A man was walking with his best friend, someone he had known for a very long time. As they walked, they began to argue about some trivial issue. As they argued, they began to be very angry at one another. The more they argued, the angrier they became. They got so angry at each other that the man lost his temper and shoved his friend away from him. His friend stumbled and fell upon a board, which had a loose, rusty nail sticking up from it. The nail pierced the man’s friend in the back.

The man, immediately sorry for what he had done, picked his friend up and took him home to wash his wound and remove the rusty nail. “I’m so sorry,” he kept saying. “I don’t know what cam over me. Please forgive me!”

“That’s your problem,” his friend said. “You’ve always had a bad temper. I’m going to teach you a lesson. I’m going to leave this rusty nail in my back so that every time you see it you will remember what your bad temper did you me.” Even when the rust nail eventually began to infect the wound in the friend’s back, the friend refused to remove it and continued to remind the man of what he had done and how wrong her was, right up until the day that the infection from the nail finally killed him.

It is so easy to look at this story and say, “How foolish! No one should keep a wound open in their body just so they can hold it over the person who caused it! If that was me, I’d want to get healed as soon as I could!” But hear this, Child of God; every day, in relationships all over the world, people are doing just that to their own spirits, and the rusty nail that pierces them and drains their happiness away is called UNFORGIVENESS.

The Danger of Unforgiveness.

In order to see unforgiveness in it’s proper light, it is first necessary to understand what it means to forgive. In the Greek, the word forgive means: to free fully, relieve, release, dismiss, let die, pardon, divorce, let go, loose, put away, and to set at liberty. The Bible makes it very clear that we as followers of Christ are expected to forgive the wrongs that others may do to us: “And when you stand praying, forgive, if you have ought against any.” (Mark 11:25)

Beyond question, then, the Bible expects us to let go of the hard feelings held against someone who has done us wrong, no matter who, why, how, or what. Walking in forgiveness with others is one the believer’s primary keys to finding their happiness in life. When we do not let go of the wrong that has been done against us, but instead hold on to it, then we are walking in unforgiveness.

“So we walk in a little unforgiveness,” someone might say. “It’s only natural; besides, it’s the only way we can protect ourselves from being used and hurt.” Oh, saints, how little we actually know about the function of our own hearts! And how devious is our enemy, who deceives us into hurting others and ourselves in a hundred little ways! How many saints do you know who pride themselves on how they avoid adultery, fornication, murder and idolatry, only to fall prey to unforgiveness, bitterness and lovelessness? How many relationships, friendships and marriages have crumbled and fallen because of unforgiveness? There are too many to count! Out of the many things that damage relationships and spiritual growth, it’s usually the small, seemingly minor attitudes that silently eat away at the foundations until it is too late. “Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines; for our vines have tender grapes” (Song of Solomon 2:15). The “little foxes” of unforgiveness will always spoil the tender fruit of our relationships!

When unforgiveness enters our hearts, it erodes our ability to love, bond and trust, making us cold, bitter and hard. It kills our ability to develop relationships and fellowship with others – even with the Lord God Himself! “But when ye do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:26). Many people hold unforgiveness in their hearts in an effort to hurt the one who first hurt them, not realizing that they are the ones who suffer the most! It is near impossible to find happiness in life when you are holding on to forgiveness.

The Importance of Forgiving.

If you ask most saints what are some of the most important spiritual elements in their life, most will tell you about tongues, spiritual gifts, prophecy, and the Word of God. Very few will include love and forgiveness on their list. But what does the Word of God teach us? How does God want the unsaved to respond to spiritual gifts and prophecy? Beloved, all of these wonderful abilities are intended to draw unsaved souls to God that they might receive one thing: FORGIVENESS of their sins through Jesus Christ!

“Be it known unto you therefore, man and brethren, that through [Jesus] is preached unto you forgiveness of sins, and by Him all that believe are justified from all things.” (Acts 13:38-39)

Saints, forgiveness is not just a side issue in the Christian faith; it is the very center of the gospel message. Jesus was made flesh and blood for this very reason – to break down the wall of separation between man and God, that mankind might be saved from the righteous judgment of God and be forgiven of their sinful acts and delivered from their sinful nature so that they might enjoy intimate fellowship with God!

But if we want to continue receiving forgiveness of sins throughout our life (for truly we will need it!), then God requires one thing of us all – that we completely forgive others like He constantly and completely forgives us.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:31-32, NIV).

The Impact of Unforgiveness.

Despite the clear instructions of scripture, friendships, families, marriages, ministries, and lives are being broken up at a frightening rate. People are turning to divorce, crime drugs, violence and gangs, trying to stop their personal pain and find their life’s happiness. We are seeing Jesus’ prophecy come true: “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of many will grow cold.” (Matt. 24:12, NIV).

Why is this happening? Counselors and psychiatrists have discovered a common thread – unforgiveness and bitter hearts! Sons and daughters are bitter against absent fathers or negligent mothers; wives are bitter against absent or abusive husbands; fathers are bitter against their own abusive fathers, turning their rage against their own families; women are bitter against men, and children are bitter against their parents. Everyone is holding unforgiveness against those who have hurt them, and the resulting bitterness of heart is eating them up inside. We are seeing a whole generation of bitter, angry, hard-hearted people boiling over with silent rage and unforgiveness!

The worst part about it is Satan is having a field day! Why? Because whenever unforgiveness and bitterness enter our hearts, Satan has a legal right to build a stronghold there!

“If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven – if there was anything to forgive – I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes (i.e., methods, devices, and plans)”
(2 Corinthians 2:10-11, NIV).

Paul is saying here that if there exists any occasion where forgiveness is needed in the church, he wants to forgive along with everyone else, for he knows how Satan operates. He knew that every unforgiven offense was an opportunity for Satan to bring the bondage of bitterness, anger, criticalness, strife, and hard heartedness to the offended party. These things would open the door for other tormenting spirits as well! You see, it’s not just about relationships, but about your spiritual and natural health as well. When you do not forgive, your prayers go unanswered, your love grows cold, your natural resistance decreases, your joy and happiness are drained away, your spirit becomes darkened, and every sin you commit goes unforgiven by God until you forgive! Now tell me, is it really worth it?

Five Reasons Why A Person Won’t Forgive.

Someone may say, “But it’s so hard to forgive! You don’t know what they did to me! I just can’t seem to let it go, even though I know I have to!” If this is you, Beloved, then you need to examine yourself closely as to why you as a believer would keep this deadly emotional poison flowing through your system. Here are five reasons why most people will not forgive:

1) They don’t value the relationship. Many people simply refuse to forgive an offender because they no longer value the relationship that they have with them. They are more willing to discard the relationship than to make the effort to restore the relationship. This is due to a lack of love, for without the love of God within us, we cannot see the value that God places in every person on earth! Can you imagine what would happen if God treated us the same way?

2) They are afraid to forgive for fear of being put in a position of weakness and vulnerability with another person. This is the most common reason among those who have been hurt before. They use unforgiveness as a shield to keep distance between themselves and those who have hurt them. They feel safer hiding behind the bitterness and anger rather than letting it go and giving the person another chance, as the Bible instructs them to. The sad part is, they are keeping God out as well, and letting Satan in! Saints, remember this: true, godly love always takes risks, and there is no hurt in this world that God cannot heal!

3) They won’t forgive because pride keeps them from truly seeing themselves in God. Many people will exalt themselves in their own eyes until they treat every offense against them as if it were against God Himself! They see the offender as “unworthy” of their forgiveness or love, not realizing that they themselves are no better than the offender in God’s eyes as long as they hold that grudge. They fail to realize that if Jesus could forgive the sins committed against him during his earthly life and still love his offenders, who are we not to? We must learn to let God be the righteous judge of every sin and get out of His way!

4) They can’t forgive because they are focusing on the wrong image in their minds. Many saints hinder their ability to forgive by constantly thinking on the wrong thing: instead of focusing on the Word of God, the example of Jesus, and guarding themselves against the deception of the enemy, they will focus on the offender, the offense, the words spoken, and the pain experienced. They will rehearse it over and over in their minds, keeping the memories fresh and the wounds sore. Beloved, please listen: as long as you keep talking about it, thinking about it, and hearing about it, you’ll keep hurting over it. Part of forgiving is separating yourself and your pain from the memories of the event – you must put the past behind you, embracing the memory while releasing the pain!

5) They won’t forgive because they don’t understand the damage it does to their hearts. Most everyone who willingly holds onto a grudge does not realize the damage they are doing to themselves. Unforgiveness always leads to bitterness, and bitterness always leads to a hardened heart, one that cannot love or trust anyone. It affects our ability as parents, spouses, and friends. Everyone can tell bitter people; they’re the ones who have become abusive, hard, quick-tempered, stubborn, unfriendly, and cold. The offense may be years gone and long forgotten by the other party, but the impact remains long after the fact. Saints, we must understand this: the only person unforgiveness hurts is the unforgiver!

The Power of Love.

The Battle against unforgiveness is being lost by someone, somewhere, every day. Today it’s like a contagious disease, spreading from marriage to marriage and family to family, leaving behind divorces, broken families, bitter hearts, and painful memories. How can we stop it? The answer is so simple yet so deep that we often overlook it – we must learn to LOVE! Not the warm, fuzzy, teary-eyed lip service love that you see on television of get in many fellowships. But that selfless, aga`pe love of Jesus, the self-sacrificing love that led Him to give His life for us while we were still his enemies, the love that could accept rejection, lashes, beatings, spitting, nails, and a criminal’s cross and still say, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Beloved, this is where the real battle for your spiritual life and happiness begins; not over doctrines, denominations, Bible versions, or spiritual gifts, but over who will love and who will hate, who will forgive and who will grow bitter! Oh saints, where are those who can turn the other cheek, who can love their enemies, who can bless those that curse them or spitefully use them? Where are those who can truly, honestly forgive? This is what the world needs to see, hear and experience! This is TRUE spiritual growth and a primary key to finding happiness! This is the nature of the true child of God, one who, like a rose, can take the crushing of this world and still give off the pleasing fragrance of love and forgiveness. This, beloved saints, is the mark of a true believer. Praise God!

How to find happiness – Forgiving Others Exercises:

1)      Make a list of those people who have hurt or wounded you in your life, whether they are alive or have passed away. Include a detailed list of the hurts and wounds inflicted upon you.

2)      Take the time to go before God and ask forgiveness for holding grudges against them; ask Him to remove the offense from your heart. Ask God to wash your heart in the blood of Jesus Christ and to fill you with love for that person. Renounce the Spirit of Unforgiveness, repenting from your heart before the Lord God.

3)      Forgive each offender. Forgive them verbally, out loud. Be specific in what you are forgiving them for. If you have trouble forgiving, review the “Reasons People Will Not Forgive” provided in this lesson. Focus on the impact that unforgiveness could have in your life and ask yourself, “Do I really want this poison in my life? What have I already lost because of unforgiveness? Is it really worth it to damage my own spirit because of this? What blessings am I missing out on because of this?” Now, go back and try again to forgive that person’s hurts against you. Do this for every person on your list and take your time.

(Note: if you still have trouble verbally forgiving this person, this may be a sign that you have developed a demonic stronghold in your life. Ask the Lord God to help you forgive them. You may need to seek deliverance counseling.)

4)      Once you have asked forgiveness from the Lord for harboring unforgiveness, and have verbally forgiven and released each person who has wounded you, now begin to pray a blessing over the life over each person. (Remember, Jesus said to “love those who hate you, bless those who persecute you.”) A sign of true forgiveness from the heart is when we can freely speak a blessing over those who have wounded us and truly mean it from our hearts.

5)      If you still know or have a relationship with someone who has wounded you in the past, it would be wise to go to that person and tell them that you have forgiven them for any trespasses, as well as asking their forgiveness for any sins you may have committed against them. The more hurtful the wound, the necessary this step may become. You may very well free them from the guilt of offending you!

Previous Keys To Happiness Lessons:

How to find Happiness – 15 Lesson Series – Overview

How to find Happiness – Introduction

How to find Happiness – Key #1 – A relationship with God

How to find Happiness – Key #2 – Being Thankful

How to find Happiness  - Key #3 – Learning How to forgive yourself

May you find true happiness, forgive yourself and may God answer your prayers – Amen!