Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. (Colossians 3:13KJV)
Forbearing means showing patient and unruffled self-control and restraint under adversity; slow to retaliate or express resentment.ᶦ
Forgiving means providing absolution.²
Life is not fair when family fight against family but in all the fighting the scriptures tell us to show patience and restrain our resentment but to provide absolution to others. We need to provide a way out as the Lord did for us.
In the scriptures Jesus teaches us about the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18:21-35)
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Matthew 6:14)
“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.” Mark 11:26)
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)
We want to be right about everything even if we hurt others in the process. When we are convicted we still want to fight because it is the world’s way. But, we are not of this world the word says with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2) The word says Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (2Timothy 2:22-26)
Jesus Christ lay down His life for us in love. We did not know Him personally but without hesitation He walked down a long and winding road to die on a cross made out of wood for us. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross. (1Peter 2:24a) Jesus Christ did this for us so we could be that debtor who needed to be given an absolution. Why would Jesus do this? So that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” (1Peter 2:24b) The old plan of the law wasn’t working so God devised a new plan and Jesus Christ was born of woman, born under law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave (to sin), but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. (Galatians 4:4-7) This was the plan all along to forgive our sinful desires because we can’t forgive ourselves without Jesus Christ shred blood on a cross made with man hands. We needed a Savior to come and save us from our evil desires that were going to be disastrous and a bitter end to our existence. God’s love for His people outweighed any other plan but to send His Son for our sins.
We do not live under the law but we who call Jesus Abba, Father are forgiven. You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5: 13-15) Don’t think because you have asked Jesus Christ into your life that you have a free pass to continue in your sin. The Lord has scriptures all over the Bible that talk of luke-warm Christians. ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. ‘So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.’ (Revelation 3:16) “A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. “Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. “So then, you will know them by their fruits.… (Matthew 7:18-20) We are the tree that is planted in Christ who grows good fruit and we will be known by our fruit.
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:16-21) For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” (Romans 8:13-15) If you have not put to death your flesh and its desires you are not being led by the Spirit but are under the law. The Lord does not want us chained to the law but to be free as adopted sons to the King. Once you taste victory in Christ Jesus you will not want to live like a dead man but to live for Christ. Throw off the old man and live for Jesus Christ as a forgiven son of the Most High God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:22-26) This is what it looks like to walk in the Spirit: Love is patient, love is kind. (1Corinthians 13:4) Peace I leave with you (John14:27), forbearing one another (Colossians 3:13), showing kindness (2Samuel 2:6), full of goodness (Romans 15:14), true faith (3John 1:3), gentleness of tongue (Proverbs 15:4), and maintain your self-control (Acts 19:36).
If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. (1John 1:8-10)
What are the wages of sin? For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
So, you see life without Jesus Christ is no life at all; it is death. But, if you ask for forgiveness in Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. (Ephesians 1:7)
“Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)
Thank you Father that you love us enough to send your son to be our deposit on a payment so that we can live free of sin. Thank you Jesus Christ that with this free gift you have given me a way out of my sins and all I have to do is say “Father, forgive me.”
Father, I pray for your people who are called by your name that they will turn back to you and be forgiven. I pray that you will keep watch over us and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. (Acts 20:28) The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. Let us lack no good thing in you. Provide your provisions each and every day Lord Jesus. Makes me lie down in green pastures, make me thirst and hungry for your word, make me have a relationship with my Father God so that you can lead me beside the quiet waters and restore my soul. Guide me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Guide me to church, guide me through the word, guide me to that right occupation, and guide me to a deeper knowledge of you. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Thank you, Lord through my relationship with you and the word, I am not alone you will never leave me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You prepare table in front of my unbelieving friends, family, and co-workers… You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. (Psalm 23) In Jesus Christ Name I pray. Amen.