Success and Failure Blog

          “a ribbon of road was my companion”

     I walked on this road hoped to see someone, though nothing but, a ribbon of road was my companion. I was thirsty and hungry. My throat was so dry that I picked up a pebble and toss it into my mouth. Let this pebble whet my thirst. Let me draw out every last drop of moisture.  Am I going to die here, die among the creatures of the air and this dirt road? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t see the bird of prey approach me.

     “Caw, caw!” screech a buzzard. My hands reached up to protect my head at the same time I swallowed my last hope, I thought.

     My hand went to my throat, and I gasped for air as I swallowed that pebble. I gazed around at the vast emptiness. That bird of prey was waiting for me to die.

     “What are you looking at? I am not dead yet. I might look like death, but I am not.”  I tried not to lose hope in the One who gives me breath.

     I was drawn away from the path to a high plateau in the mountains where as a child I would escape to have lunch with Abba. I would bring bake chicken, potato salad and for dessert we would have chocolate cake. I would have His total attention. Today, I looked off into a time when I wrestled with disenchantment, pain, being alone and I admit to the hate I felt towards my Abba.

     Look at me! Who would want me? I am without child and have lost my youth. I want to disappear like Alice in Wonderland into a hole; into a new world to save me from my shame. You say to me, Lord, “I do not know you.”

     How absurd! I spoke back to Abba, “What do you mean that you do not know me? Did I not serve you during my year of discovery? I learned to search the scriptures to find the hidden truths that you lead me too. Have you forgotten the mission you sent me on and the ones that gave their lives to you?” What does this mean? Have I been walking this path by myself? I pondered.

     I found myself back on the road, the hard ground under my feet. The weight of my burden was heavier on my shoulders. My walk stopped. Looking skyward I was trying to comprehend what this all meant. How did I lose my way? When did I get off the path? Maybe I have never been on the right path that leads to Abba. I have been lost? Please help me. At that moment I knelt down on the hard, dry ground and my dry parched throat prayed a simple prayer, “please, forgive me Abba for going my own way. Teach me your ways. I want to learn from you.”

     I remembered a song from the old book. Searching my mind I remember bits of it that says, “I trust in thee, O Lord; I say thou art my God; my times are in thy hands.”  Concentrate. I closed my eyes, and I was back reliving my past.

      You swooped in like an angel lifting me up off the rough road and sustaining me in your arms; fighting my battles with the serpents that surrounded me on both sides.

     At times it was hard to hear your voice, the dark one sounds like you. I hit the pavement with a thump! The dark one would taunt me calling me the old names that someone supposedly dear to me had call me; I struggle with my Father’s love and I would get disconcerted, disillusion and throw it in your face. You taught me that I could trust you again and lean on you. You brought me new comrades and new hope. You showed me in little tests that I can trust you again.

     And so, I started to trust God in little ways by getting counseling. I truly grappled with my faith. Does he truly love me? Finally, I was able to make changes in my life. I made more new friends and started to go to church regularly, making a contribution by leading a single’s group.

     Many tests later, I came to my biggest challenge of all. I lost everything: my home, my car, even my precious possessions. God again said, “Trust me.” When I thought of those two words trust me, they reminded me of the humiliation, pain, and guilt. And I cringed and I am reminded of my lowest moment in the hands of him. Dark memories from a time long gone but it feels like yesterday with the smell of burning flesh.

     I suddenly realized that the landscape has changed and I am very parched and sunburn. My long lost friend we meet again. “Trust me.” How can I trust you when I am losing my car? My car has been my freedom, freedom from my mistakes: marriage, unwanted singleness, shame, guilt, and you. I see. I have been running away from you…

     How did I get here, again on the road of despair? We sometimes make strange bedfellows. I lived many years in abuse and heard from the man I loved that I was stupid, dumb, and idiotic so many times. He said he didn’t want children with me because they might be like me. And so, I became numb, slow to feel good emotions. It is so very hard to trust.

     When I meet people who remind me of my ex-husband, a war breaks out in my head. I become consume with memories and distressed that can punch me down and leave me silent. I work for such a person and was trying to make my escape and in doing so lost my only income. I haven’t been able to get another job and my every moment is consumed with having my boss tell me, “MaryAnn you’re too old for the industry and no one will hire you.” I hear the voice of my ex-husband telling me, “When you look for a job, make sure you don’t have to write, communicate, or drive because you can’t do any of those things.” STOP!! The Lord has made me a promise: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)   And, then “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck and write them on the tablet of your heart.”(Proverbs 3:3) Be truthful to yourself MaryAnn. “Love shall never leave you or forsake you.”(Hebrews 13:5)   “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”(Proverbs 3:5-6)   Out of the dirty muck I cleaned off the shame and guilt off my feet. I walk with sure footedness up the path of forgiveness and grace. I know I have stumble, but life is challenging it is not painless.

     The air is cleaner up on the plateau overlooking that hard road I have been traveling. I have traveled this road constantly when I let go of my father’s hand. I believed a lie. I believed that I was worthless and that who could love me. I found that was a lie from that vulture of prey that hunts the souls of the lost children of God.

     So if you find yourself on this hard road of life and you are thirsty for love. My Father, Jesus Christ his arms are always open wide for the losted, hurted, and confused just turn around HE has been waiting for you to notice HIM. HE is standing with open arms to embrace, kiss, and offer you a home with HIM. Ask HIM in and you will never be alone.

Lessons learned on a hard road when one is so thirsty that they are driven to change:  

     1.  Give up your control of your life to God and watch Him turn your life around.

     2.  Do not let go of His hand. Focus on the word. Jesus says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) We are the ones who leave His side when we sin. He promised to never leave us. When we come to the Father he forgives us for our past, present, and future sins. We go into hiding when we are running away and Jesus is right there with us. All we need to do is turn around; His arms are open wide ready and waiting for you.

     3.  Set up boundaries that are attainable. Just because you are stronger doesn’t mean that you can date someone who reminds you of your ex; this is a time to flee, run.

     4.  Read your Bible every day, memorizes scriptures, and pray; the Lord wants a relationship with you. Watch what you say do not let Satan in by the words you proclaim “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)  

     5.  If you lost everything today. Would you love the Lord more than your reputation? Give Him your pain and struggles. Let Him into your situations do not hide them from Him. HE knows all and it pains Him to see you in so much pain. Sometimes, we just get in the way of what He wants to do in our life.

     6.  Only let us live up to what we have already attained. (Philippians  3:16) If the Lord shows you something do not let someone come in and tell you different. Those special bonds you have with the Lord do not let someone come and tear you two apart.

     7.  Watch what you say do not let Satan in by the words you proclaim. “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”  (Psalm 19:14)      

    http://kissedbythefather.blogspot.com/

Have you ever had someone irk your nerves? Is there someone in your life that completely unravels your resolve with a single word or deed? Maybe it is someone you don’t even know very well or even at all? Out of no where, someone zaps you with unmerited meanness, un-thoughtfulness, disrespect, hatefulness and down right evil behavior! Our first instinct may be to get them back. It seems so natural to just zap them the way they zapped you. It is easy to reason that someone needs to give them a dose of their own, awful medicine, and that they should definitely be taught a lesson. It is even easier to think that you should be the one to put them in their place. After all should you just let someone walk all over you and not take a stand? I think we have all been there before. It is a part of the natural and physical nature (of our flesh) to desire setting others straight when they try to do us harm or deal with us deceitfully. It is in our physical nature to want to repay others with the same terrible treatment they gave us. Often times, we envision that we deserve to be treated better. After all, should we not be treated with same kindness and respect that we freely give others? It just seems like zapping them back will make you feel better. But does it really make us feel better to that? What does God desire of us during moments like that? What is the right thing do when someone hurts us, makes us mad, or upsets us royally? Should we revenge and repay like with like-you know-an eye for eye? Or, should we just ignore it all together when someone does us wrong?

Neither one of these responses are the correct way to deal with a situation like this.   It is definitely God’s will for you help Him teach others (that have done you wrong) a lesson. The only thing is it may not be the same lesson you imagined or desired to teach them. What God desires of us is more original and requires a spiritual response not a physical or fleshly response.   The response that God desires of us is even more difficult and humbling than ignoring insults and harmful deeds.  God is clear in how He requires us to respond.  God does not want us to ignore or to return evil for evil or insult for insult.  God wants us to do something grand.  God wants for us to give blessing in return for evil and insult.

1 Peter (Amplified Bible Version)

⁸Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).

⁹Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God--that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection].

¹⁰For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good--whether apparent or not] keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit).

¹¹Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]

¹²For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), and His ears are attentive to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil [to oppose them, to frustrate, and defeat them].

This describes what God’s will is concerning the matter of treatment of others.  The Golden Rule does not teach us to do unto others as they have done to you.  No, it teaches us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.  Whenever others do not keep this rule it is up to us to teach them this lesson of blessing and love and kindness, instead of showing them the same treatment they have shown toward us.  As believers in Christ we are called to demonstrate this principal to others.  If we hope to inherit blessing from God, we must be willing to share blessings with others whether we feel they are deserving of blessings or not.

What would it have been like if Jesus had responded to the wrongful treatment He was given with that same hateful and evil doing?  What if Jesus just stopped, called upon God, and said,” Father, I will not do this.  These people are undeserving of such an ultimate sacrifice.  I curse them with the very fate and sentence they have awarded me-death?”  Instead, even after being whipped, beaten, spit upon, and crowned with thorns, He blessed us.  He cried out to the Father, “Father forgive them, they don’t realize what they are doing.” (Paraphrased)

^{Luke 23:34 (Amplified Bible)}

³⁴And Jesus prayed, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they divided His garments and distributed them by casting lots for them.

Jesus suffered for good.  He suffered for our sins and He gave up all He had, even His very life, even though we are sinful and undeserving.  Jesus loved us even though He already knew that many would never accept Him and love Him in return.  That is true unconditional love, and it is the true and right response we should have for others.

So remember, no matter how badly someone treats us, it is up to us to treat them right and know that God is with us.  Our reward for suffering for good and our blessing comes from God and through Jesus.  If we have to suffer for good or suffer in Jesus’ name, we are still and all the more blessed.  Not one of us deserves any blessings and a good life based upon our own actions, on account of all our sins.  We are blessed through Jesus and due to the price He paid.  He freely and lovingly gave His life and His blood was shed at the cross so that we could truly live and have a life full of goodness.   He gave us everlasting life through Him, in exchange for our sin.

I challenge you, as my challenge myself also; please think of God’s love.   This is my prayer for everyone, including myself.    The next time someone steps on you and I to get a promotion, let’s not step on them and knock them back down, let’s encourage them and uplift by promoting Jesus. Let us consider what Jesus did for us when someone cuts us off while driving on the highway and give them free clearance (not a scowl or angry gesture).   When people curse us, steals from us, belittles us, or betrays us, let’s bless them, share with them, uplift them, and be faithful to them in Jesus’ matchless name.   Even if someone beats us up and takes our lives, I hope that we can shine for God and be an example of Jesus even in our last breaths, and that our last words and deeds will be gentle and life giving actions of love and forgiveness.

May your life be blessed and a blessing in Christ Jesus.

LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS

Psalm 117 ……. Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD. 

Psalm 36:5 ……. Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalm 89:1-8 ……. I will sing of the LORD’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself. You said, “I have made a covenant with my chosen one, I have sworn to David my servant, ’I will establish your line forever and make your throne firm through all generations.’ “ Selah The heavens praise your wonders, O LORD, your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones. For who in the skies above can compare with the LORD ? Who is like the LORD among the heavenly beings? In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared; he is more awesome than all who surround him.  O LORD God Almighty, who is like you?  You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.

Psalm 100 ……. Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;  give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

1 John 4:15-17 ……. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.

Titus 3:3-8 ……. At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

Lamentations 3:21-23 ……. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

1 John 4:9-11 ……. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

1 John 5:2-4 ……. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith

1 John 3:23-24 ……. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

Revelation 1:6 ……. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever!   AMEN!!!

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