Shining Perspective

“that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lust and be renewed in the spirit of your mind and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.” ~Ephesians 5:22-24

It’s 7am already? How does that happen so fast? I get up every day at 5am. Well, at least I wake up at that time. On some days it takes more prayer to get out of bed than other days. I have quite a routine. I pray and put my armor on. (Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. ~Ephesians 6:11) I give Jesus the throne of my heart before my feet hit the floor every morning. Somehow there are still days when all of the steps I take, don’t quite seem to be enough to “put off” the old woman and “put on” the new woman.

Last week I had one of those days. You know, the days when every tiny detail seems to be irritating; one frustration after another. My son has been on a trend of not getting up, not following directions and just being five years old with no concept of time. On this day, the morning was full of whining, arguing, complaining about the T-shirt selection, and confrontation about the toys he wanted to bring for the car ride. You name it; he had a problem with it.

The stress has been mounting in my home as we are getting close to the deadline of moving. It is starting to affect us all. We haven’t moved in seven years which means, we didn’t have Isaiah the last time we moved. I find it quite challenging just to try and continue with the everyday routine of getting off to work and school, while everything is a disaster.

My son is not a morning person; at least not for the first half hour of his eyes being opened. I repeat myself a LOT and he gives my patience muscle a good workout. I’ve been more sleep deprived than usual (which is a scary thought, since I don’t get enough sleep anyway) add to that the stress of moving and I lost control.

I finally gave into the frustration of asking this child over and over again to do the same thing. I could hear myself yelling at him. I felt myself giving into the old way I used to deal with him; the way I chose not to deal with him now. By the time I got him into the car, and finally got us buckled in, I realized that God doesn’t yell at me when I make poor choices or when I make mistakes, not even when I disobey.

On the way to school our routine includes prayer for the day. I’m open with Isaiah. I pray whatever needs to be prayed for. On this day my son heard me repent, ask for forgiveness, lay down my stress and be renewed in the few minutes that I prayed. I surrendered it all to the Lord. I praise God for the opportunities as they arise, to show him where my strength comes from. God isn’t angry like I was on that morning, (…let every man be quick to listen but slow to use his tongue, and slow to lose his temper. For man’s temper is never the means of achieving God’s true goodness. James 1:19-20 Phillips)

The Lord gently calls and waits for me to come to the end of myself. (This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:15-16) His fountain of forgiveness and grace never runs dry.

By the time I dropped Isaiah off at school, we had both received our attitude adjustments, apologized and our day was set right. I got back into the car and the radio was singing: “…I don’t’ have to carry the weight of who I’ve been cause I’m forgiven…” I could only thank the Lord, I knew those words to be true and on that morning they were being sung just for me; I’ve been forgiven of all my past, present and future sins. (But if we freely admit that we have sinned, we find him utterly reliable and just—he forgives our sins and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. 1 John 1:9 Phillips)

Have you come boldly to the throne of grace?