How I miss my Mom’s Bible Study.  We were a group of women who dedicated our time to studying God’s Word and dedicated our time to each other.  We trusted each other with our deepest, darkest feelings with no fear of judgment or persecution.  We knew we would only receive love and prayer.

I have followed my beloved husband to New York in hopes of a better life.  He was to maintain a better job.  The area would be a better place to raise our children.  We would sustain ourselves through use of our land.

Well, he does not have a job. Our neighbors and others surrounding us are evildoers.   I am having a tough time sustaining my land with crops as it is exhausting, time consuming, and frustrating.  There are a lot of nice people in my church but no one I really feel a connection with.  I have tried to start up a women’s group but these women do not seem to feel the need to give up their extra time for one another let alone the Lord.  We have a couple of registered child molesters living on our street. And I have no one to confide in.  Well, I can talk to my husband.   Although he believes in God, we are not at the same crossroads.   He listens but does not hear me.   His troubles are always so much more…

So what has all this taught me.  You know, God uses everything, people and situations for His purpose.  This has truly taught me that the only person, being, anyone can truly count on is their Heavenly Daddy.  He is the only thing I can trust.  He is my best friend.  He is the only one that knows my inmost being, every thought, feeling, whim, desire….This has taught me to totally rely on Him for everything and that is what He wants.

Thank you, Lord, for this tough road and this revelation.   I love you, Lord. Praise God!

A Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there!  May God bless you and give you wisdom and knowledge to bring your children up in His righteousness.

I know the gifts have probably already been bought but just wanted to guide each of you to this book – “52 Things Kids Need From a Dad” Check it out everyone for the men, dads, grandpas, dads to be in your lives!

Guys, remember your children a blessing, a gift from God.  He freely gave you His children because He trusted you to bring them up righteously.  Treat them as gifts and not burdens in your lives.

God Bless and have a great day, dads!

In His Holy Name, Mary Ludolph

I recently read an article in “Voice of the Martyrs” that has left me convicted.

“Who is First?” In our day to day living are we putting God’s Kingdom first?  As I reflect and read stories of Christians sacrificing themselves and their families for Christ, I feel remorse for not doing more for God’s Kingdom.  I feel guilt for thinking the minor persecution I suffer for my faith may be enough.

I am guilty for putting my family first.  How many of us are?  We live day to day being a Martha.  Filled with anxiety and worry about what we have not gotten done, what we need to do.  Worrying about our finances and the picnic we are preparing for…..How much of this is really essential in our daily living.  How much of a role is all this in our real job here on earth -  servants for the Almighty God.

My heart yearns for the Lord yet I do not do nearly enough to sacrifice myself.  I feel sorry for myself because my marriage is not nearly what I want it to be.  I feel pity for the daily grind I need to put up with in my household and feel this is a sacrifice in an of itself.

It may very well be but when you look around the world at what others are sacrificing young and old it really makes you appreciate the fact that we have so much even if we feel we have so little.

Although I may not be a part of their faith, I have a great respect for the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses for going door to door spreading the Word of God.  Stopping people on the street to tell them of Jesus’ love.  Praise God for witnesses such as these.

Lead me, Father God, to be the Christian witness you need for me to be right here where you have placed me.  Although I may not have to give my life in order to spread your Word, Lord, I want to be a living sacrifice in my community.  Teach me your ways, Lord.   Teach me how to spread your Word and to be an effective witness for your kingdom.

We all go through these times in which we wake up and have other things on our mind except that which we should be thinking about.

I know just as well as the next person that the first and only thing on my mind should be the Lord. Not just a passing thought of His greatness but totally and emphatically the Lord and His almightiness.

So why do we cast aside our Heavenly Father when we know how unhealthy it is for us? Why do we say Father can I get to that later? Or Father God won’t mind if I just skip one day of reading His Holy Word as long as I pray?

Wrong! It is just like excercising physically or watching what we eat. What happens when we say well I excerised so intense yesterday what is one day to miss. Or that little piece of chocolate cake did not hurt my calories yesterday so what if I have one more piece. Well we skip one day then the next…we eat one more piece then another….we skip one day of devotion then another…

We do this because we are human and think we can get away with it without anyone knowing our downfalls.  We do this because we are human and believe we are immortal.  We do this because we believe our last efforts will give us everlasting effects.

Then we realize that not everything lasts forever and we start to feel the need to go back to our rightful ways of living, exercising, eating.

Staying in sync with the Lord is an everyday exercise. It is a commitment not to be taken lightly. It takes time, effort, and devotion. It is the biggest and best commitment to make in our lives.

We need to wake up knowing that we need Him.  That in light of our best efforts we will never have as successful of a day if we skip Him.  That the few moments of our day that it takes to devote to Father God are little in comparison to what we receive back from Him.

I want to stop taking my relationship with Him for granted.  I want to continue to devote my time to Him everyday not just some days.  I pray to you, Oh Heavenly Father, that I will stop taking you for granted.  That I will remember you need for me to be prepared as much as I need for you to be here with me.  Thank you, Father God, for your forgiveness and understanding to my human tendencies.  I love you always and forever.  Mary

The tenth commandment instructs us to love our neighbors.  Matthew 5:42 instructs us to love our enemies.    I don’t know about you but these are the hardest laws that God has given to us for me to follow.

I have had experiences of loving others that I considered my enemy.  My ex-husband for example he admittedly loved to  get me angry or upset even after I left.  My husband’s ex loved to do the same to him.   As my relationship with God flourished I realized the need to pray for these two and their families.  I also came to the conclusion that because of my sin of divorce that there were certain things that God was not going to keep me from experiencing.  These are the consequences of my sin.  But it is easier to love someone from a distance, not having to deal with their idiosyncrasies on a daily basis.  Now I am experiencing a much tougher love of my enemy and neighbor.

In August 2008 my family and I moved from New Jersey to Greene, NY in search of the wonderous open lands available and the safety of not living near the high crime cities of Philadelphia and Camden.  We felt it God’s will.  God moved mountains to get us here.

We really did not want neighbors to close on either side of our home but the home we chose has a neighbor to our right within 50 feet.  When we moved here the house was empty.  At the time we were so busy readying our home and land that I never thought to pray for christian neighbors. What a mistake!

In April 2009 we were going to have a new neighbor.  A single mom with two children who fell into our children’s age groups.  At first glance it seemed great.

As the weeks went by and the time of their move in was coming, I was filled with such ill-will about these people who were going to move next door to me.  I had not even met them yet.  Awful nightmares, feelings of nausea, depression, anxiety ensued.  I prayed to the Lord for His will to be done but to also protect my marriage and family during this time.  I had no idea why I was feeling so insecure about all this but I knew that something evil was lurking.

On the day of move in I mustered up the strength to go over and introduce myself.  Gave the new neighbors a casserole and cake.  As weeks went by it became clear that some of the behaviors in their household were temptations to not only myself but to my husband and children.  Behaviors that I had prayed and worked hard to rid myself of and that I prayed and hoped my husband would rid himself of.  Behaviors that we were hoping our children would not pick up on from others.

My husband was liking our new neighbors and could not understand why I just did not want to have more than a “hello, how are you” relationship.  He kept encouraging me to make friends with her and her friends.  So for his sake I kept trying thinking that this instinctive gut feeling I was having was maybe me just having an overactive imagination.

As more time went by, what I saw with my eyes was disturbing and made me uncomfortable.  My husband just kept assuring me that we would be okay and that we should be neighborly.

I was praying so hard at this time for myself and my husband, our marriage, and for our neighbors and their friends.  I was especially praying for God to instill a loving heart in me for these people because I just did not want to love them.

They seemed so nice bearing gifts, etc…I am having trouble finding the passage but the good Lord does warn us to guard ourselves against those who appear to honorable by giving they do it only for their own credit not from him.

Then suddenly an uprising at their home occurred and I had one of my neighbors friends on my doorstep.  Over the weeks she gained the trust of myself and my husband.  I wanted to believe that she was good.  She listened to me witness to her.  Her significant other and my husband were liking one another.  I thought okay now I know why God sent these people for us to be great witnesses to them.  I was still uncomfortable so many old habits that were tempting me but I was able to trust them enough to allow them to watch my children while in the hospital having my last child.

Then suddenly without forwarning after they visited the baby and went out with us once after, they no longer were answering our calls…She had fled to her mothers for rest.  I thought something was wrong so I tried to reach out.  She said she would call or come visit and there was nothing.  So I stopped reaching out.  She now is back to being great friends with the neighbor.

Hmmm…why can’t two people befriend another.  Deceit, lies, hidden lives….

The Climax:  Our neighbor has always had a problem keeping her dogs in her yard for their duties.  My husband gets disgusted with it.  So he would pick it up with a shovel and fling it. I did not agree with this.  So the last time he did it he came in and asked me what he should do about the dogs pooping in our yard.  I told him maybe we should scoop it up and put in a bag and give it to her as she is not listening or heeding to our requests to stop.  I had not realized he already flung it nor did he tell me.

The next morning I had a knock on my door.  My neighbor bearing gifts once again but this time from her friend.  Father God had given me my answer.  I had pondered how to stop the gifts coming over (free clothes and such but still…kindness I did not want to accept from the enemy I did not want to allow my home to be victimized by such deceit)…this was the opportunity.  I kindly told my neighbor that I could not accept the clothes from her and that she should not allow her friend to put her in the middle of anything.  That she should not allow her to use her like that.  Her friend needed to have the courage to face me and the lies she had weaved.  Why did I warn her?  Because I respect her enough as a human being not to see her get hurt.  I may not like her ways, beliefs, and values but she is still a person.

We both had tears in our eyes I thought maybe I struck a chord of revelation….then she lashed out at me about the poo.  Then her boyfriend came over and started yelling at me.  I told them I understood their frustration with how that was handled and that I spoke to my husband about it being inconsiderate and disgusting and it would no longer happen but on the same note they needed to keep the dogs doing their business in their yard.  They still kept yelling about how it was not their dogs and that our dog was at their house and the stray cats (that came with our house) were in their yard………….

I cannot believe I kept my composure during all this I do not like being yelled at………I kindly asked them to leave and that they were no  longer welcome in my home.  It took me a couple of times of saying it before they left but they finally left.  I was at such peace.

I told my husband and of course he needed to go out and clarify his actions which started an argument between him and them.

He seems to be so interested in what these people are doing.  Not interested in making friends with people at our church.  It has become an obsession with him.

I would be happy just to live my life with my family and stay isolated in my own yard.  If they have a need I will assist.  If they are in trouble I will be there.  But under no circumstances do I want to have them over for dinner or dessert or vice versa.  Is this loving my neighbor and enemy?  I am not being loving enough?

I do still pray for them each and every day to come to the revelation that there is a God.

Sorry to be so long winded it was hard for me to get my point out in just a few sentences and still this is not every detail that I have dealt with.

I would love to hear from others who may have had similar experiences and how they handle their neighbors on a daily basis.  Do I need to do more for them?  Less?  I need prayer for the upcoming spring.  Right now I do not see these people as much due to the weather but come spring they are always out.  They are the type of people that need to make their presence know with outlandish and loud remarks.  We are working on getting a fence over there with our tax refund………Any thoughts?

Aaaah!  It is Sunday!  A day of rest!  A day to refuel the soul!  A day to set aside just for you, Father God, to give you glory and praise your Holy Name!

For some of you this day may be Saturday, but I usually spend Sunday as my Sabbath.  This has confused me. It  makes sense  that since Father God spent 6 days creating and spent the 7th day resting that Saturday would be the Sabbath, but most of us spend our Sabbath on Sunday since that is the day we go to church.  Some weeks I have more convictions of this than others so I wind up celebrating my Sabbath on Saturday but still attending church on Sunday.   In doing this I feel I really prepare my heart for worship. But where did the Sunday Sabbath come from if the Bible is really clear on the 7th day?

I once was a member of a small group that had this discussion.  The big issue was how many people worked weekends and could not get to church on Sunday?  So is it okay for people who need to work weekends to spend their Sabbath, their day of rest, their day of isolating themselves to the Lord, the day of praise to the Lord, another day?

I guess in retrospect if you spend your 6 days of work Saturday through Thursday or Sunday-Friday, or whatever your schedule might be then your Sabbath would be the day or one of the days you actually do not have to go to work.  That would be the day you set aside for rest.

Some denominations are very set on what the Bible says about the Sabbath.  Going by our calendar, etc.  But although our calendar was derived from a former does it make it exactly the calendar that God used and did God use a calendar?  He has always existed, He is older than all the grains of sand, He has always been there and will always be, His day is a thousand years.  So what type of calendar did He or would He use?

In conclusion, I believe that each of us has our own personal relationship with our Lord.  We need to rest in Him and His Word each and every day to be drawn closer to Him and have the ability to hear His will in our lives.  But we also need to have our Sabbath, where we do no work in order to glorify His Holy Name and His Word.

Draw near to the Lord today and everyday.  Set aside your Sabbath.  Speak to the Lord of your habits, needs, desires, and the Sabbath.   Allow His Holy Spririt to guide and lead you and listen for God’s Words of Wisdom.

I would love to hear from you and what God leads you to do!

I love you, Father God!  You are my King of Kings, my rock and fortress, without you life would be impossible and with you life is amazing!  All glory and honor to you, Abba Father!  Praise be your Holy Name!

Even God Himself acknowledges the existence of other gods (“Has any god ever tried to take one nation out of another nation…” Deutoronomy 4:34).  He warns us time and again in His Word to be careful not to place our trust and our worship in other gods.

God = the supreme being.

gods= an image of a deity; an idol.

The question is not the existence of God and/or gods but where our faith lies.  What we believe.

In Christianity we believe in One Supreme Being, The Lord is God, who has existed before all time.  Before the earth and stars and the Milky Way as we know it was formed, He was there.

We also believe that there other powers  which can take control over our lives, these would be the other gods.  It could be a thing such as money or power; a person such as a spouse, child or public figure; a being, such as mother nature.

In order to serve the One and the Only true God we must recognize that other gods do exist.  Why?  If we deny that other gods exist, how will we know when they are intruding with our faith, our trust in the Lord.

It is difficult for me to understand how someone could deny the existence of God, Our Father, but it is difficult for some people to understand why I and many others choose to believe in a loving, merciful God who created mankind and everything around us.

If not for God and His promises, then what is our purpose?  I choose to believe for many reasons.

First, if there was such a thing as a “Big Boom” do you really think that it would have been able to create a perfectly round planet(s) with such intricate elements?

Second, if we evolved from something else why have we not evolved again?  It would only stand to reason that if evolution is right that we would keep on evolving into some other form.

Third, there is what God has done for me in my life.  Before God I was a scared, unrational, depressed, angry person with no hope or faith.  God has created within me a new being, a new person.  He has placed hope where there was no hope.  He has given me peace where there was chaos.  He has given me love where there was hatred.  He has given me mercy where there was guilt.

Lastly, I choose to believe that there is something better for us all.  We are here to fulfill God’s purpose.  To strive for the reward of heaven on earth.  The road that will take us “home.”  If I am wrong, I would rather believe and be at peace than to be right, and not believe suffer the wrath of Him who created us.

Not sure of God’s existence?  You do not believe He does exist? Read Does God Exist? written by a former atheist.

Have a great day!  Godspeed to you!  And may His blessings overflow to you and your family.

In His Loving Name, Mary