Success and Failure Blog

Being a parent I find myself repeating things over and over, seems sometimes my children don’t listen, don’t remember, or just don’t get it. about the third time I find myself rolling my eyes.

I Have been reading the book of John and wonder if Jesus ever rolled his eyes. He was fully man, right? & even though the bible may not translate it, I would think from time to tome Jesus was like “really? I’m pretty sure I told you this like 5 times”..so maybe, John 14:5(a) Jesus rolled His eyes. or, John 6:52 (a) Jesus let out a deep sigh and muttered “really” under his breath.

I’m not to be excluded from this, it seems I need to be reminded of what Jesus taught or how I should apply it. maybe it’s just me, but sometimes, after I loose my temper, or make a wrong decision, or dwell too much on crap, one word in my head tends to make me redirect…”Really?”

A while back I gave a guy something he needed in his home. I think I was as blown away by his reaction as he was by getting it. He tried to pay me what he could and kept saying said he owed me. I assured him he owed me nothing and need not pay me back, it was a gift, no strings attached (no he didn’t need to listen to me preach before he could leave either).

So there’s the economy we carry from material world to every other part of our lives. We think that everything comes at a price. Trust me I’m just getting used to this myself. It’s kind of the “love without condition” carried further. If by doing something for you, I expect (even eventually) something in return, maybe it’s just your friendship, or admiration, then I’m not doing it for you at all, I’m just bartering for something for myself.

I think giving is easier with strangers, maybe people you will never see again, do a random act of kindness and walk away, never expecting to see them again, and they can never pay you back. It seems a lot harder among acquaintances, maybe hardest in relationships. We’ve been raised in this “point” system; I help you with your car, later when my computer dies you help me.

In relationships, try to remember the beginning, think back to when just being with that person was the goal, didn’t matter what you were doing, just being around them was enough. Let a relationship last long enough and we tend to put it to the “point system” more and more it becomes what we’ve done for the other or what we can do, or vise versa “what have you done for me lately” or “look at all I do for you and what do I get in return?” well if you’re looking for something in return you weren’t really doing it for the other person were you?. As our relationships with God are compared to a marriage I think we tend to go down the same path, we forget where our faith began, when just knowing he was there was enough.

I’m not throwing out acts of love or intentionality that come naturally through love. But if you buy your wife flowers on valentines merely BECAUSE it’s Valentines Day, it is in your heart, an empty gesture, really, just acting out of obedience or obligation. The same can apply to our faith lives.

So now I get to the point where I may be wrong. But… we are told to go out and spread the Gospel… Gospel means “good news” I’m pretty sure the good news isn’t “well Christ died on the cross now you should feel guilty and not do anything wrong and make sure you read your bible 5 times a day and here’s a check list of do’s and don’ts”.. I’m pretty sure the Good news is the price is paid, “it is finished” not “hey, now the ledger shows you in the red so you owe me”.

Looking back over the past couple years and realizing that no matter how much I am becoming the man I want to be, sometimes the Man I didn’t want to be shows up.

It’s the awkward touchy feely things that make me uncomfortable around some situations, so when I’m standing on the side of the road hugging a homeless man after somehow I get him to voice his anger at God.  He cries/better yet/ wails into my shoulder.  The thought in my head “what the frell am I doing here?”

Earlier that year a Woman organizes a “prayer drive though” Corporate prayer is not my thing (please leave it at that) So I’m in the side of I 35 holding the signs, “Jesus Loves you”, and “free prayer”.  Again the thought in my head “what the frell am I doing here?”

The most shocking was early in my walk I was on mission to Biloxi. We were invited to join a small southern baptist church for wed night service, I did not want to go, I heard there was another church that played rock & more contemporary music.  I decided to got to the smaller church with the rest of my team. it was beautiful we walked in and they were all singing songs, no music or “hymnals” a lady sitting in front would sing a verse the rest of the people would follow.  It was beautiful so I just opened my bible and enjoyed the songs.  Then…. they stopped singing, the lady leading the worship looked over at our group and said “y’all…sing something”.  I jumped up in front of the whole church and sang “your love is amazing” 1 verse and the chorus, solo, a’capella, when I finished singing my Mission team looked like deer in headlights, I sat down and said to my team “that never leaves this room”.

Sometimes being worried about appearing to be one of those “wierd” people may deter us from experiencing something great or doing something great.

There are those who would “berate” people with the message “God loves you”. But I’ve been in in a bar talking to someone, and at the right point in the conversation I told a person just that. the reaction while still a little awkward was also met with gratitude.

Maybe it’s not so much what we say or do that turns people off.  But how we say it, why we say it, and what actions go with our words.  Is there meaning in it or is it just platitudes.

Not really sure how to tie this one up.   I guess there are 2 points… I think if we are living out our faith …to the full, there should be some “aw crap what am I doing here” type moments.  The second part is up for a longer debate.  Do we seek out these moments or allow them to be truly Spirit led… or do we constantly chase the wild goose (what Celtics (not the NBA Celtics) called the Holy Spirit), and thus mix the line between intentionality and spontaneity?

A couple years ago I was on mission in Mexico. On the final night the Church we were partnering with had a long service. On this night my friend decided to buy a ice cold coke for a young local girl (maybe 9). This being a rare treat for her she gladly took it but nursed it down slowly. Later in the church service she pulled the bottle out, She offered a drink the same man who bought it earlier. He knew by now it had been shaken in dance,was room temp (close to 90), and maybe 50% backwash.

What a parable, God gives us everything, absolutely everything we have. We take it we use it and then we “offer” it to God, like it is something great. when in all reality it’s just a warm flat soda.

So to finish the story, My friend took the Coke and took a drink with a smile, not out of duty or guilt, but knowing this was all She had, and all she had to ofter, and she offered it in Love.

I know God Does the same thing. He accepts what we offer in joy, when we are offering in love, not just out of duty or ceremony.

Back in my post Follow me….ish I talked about how some “holy” people and “teachers” use bits and pieces of scripture to lead people astray. Right now I am in the middle of reading the new testament in 1 year and yesterdays reading was Romans 16. Honestly its kinda the dullest chapter in Romans to me because its “tell everyone I said hi” over and over again and give this person hugs and kisses etc…. but then smack in the middle Paul says “One final word of counsel, friends. Keep a sharp eye out for those who take bits and pieces of the teaching that you learned and then use them to make trouble. Give these people a wide berth. They have no intention of living for our Master Christ. They’re only in this for what they can get out of it, and aren’t above using pious sweet talk to dupe unsuspecting innocents.” Back when I was teaching the children the inportance of reading for yourself I pulled the example of the bible saying “throw yourself off this cliff”, and it does, but it is taken out of context when it stands alone. This can be done from the smallest scale (a phrase) to large scale (whole chapters or books). So if you’re a seeker or follower, I encourage you to read the Bible on your own, or with a small group. make sure what you’re being taught is actually there, and be able to put it in context, who wrote it, who was it written to, why was it written. I am walking talking proof that any “common man” can do it… you need not go to seminary or be a theologian to learn and live what it teaches.

Breathe today by flyleaf contains some strong lyrics it starts with
“You can only move as fast as,
Who’s in front of you,
And if you assume,
Just like them,
What good will it do,
So find out for yourself
So your ignorance,
Will stop bleeding through.”

People tend to follow without looking at the leader. Whether secular or Christian or even another religion. who’s queue are you taking? I’ll make it clear, once again that if you claim to be following no one or nothing, you are even more foolish because you just are too proud to see who or what is shaping you.

In my pre-faith days I strove so hard to follow my dad, to the point that I would look the other way when he said or did something I knew in my heart was wrong. When he was abusive (verbally or physically) to my nieces or nephews. I strove so hard to be like what I perceived to be the image of a dad. I conformed to that for so long because I rarely looked at how other families lived. And if I did I thought they were the odd ones. Love and affirmation had no place in the family.

Oddly enough when I first started checking out church one pastor said “don’t take my word for it” and I live by that. I double and triple check what is taught to me. The thing about some “biblical” teachers is they will take a line of scripture and discard the chapter it lies in. I’ve visited churches that taught “vending machine” theology, literally where they teach if you want to have a child you have to sew a certain $ amount to the church. They would pull bits and pieces of scripture on the whole sewing/reaping idea to support this. I was angry but my anger is two fold one for the teachers who were lying and surely knew it, but also for the people in the church who didn’t read the bible on their own. Each one of us is responsible for our actions in life and salvation in the end. Paul makes two seemingly contradictory statements one in
1 Cor 12 and the other in 1 Cor 11, He tells us to follow Him but not to follow him. The point being we need to be responsible for our actions in the end, No leader/ role model/ pastor/ teacher, is without flaw. Yes, even I stumble. And churches for sure, get wrapped up in doctrine instead of relationship, same as secular groups get wrapped up in ideology, both groups will lift up a leader/speaker/teacher to the point it becomes their god.

While I don’t agree with everything my church teaches/does, I do know they have the 3 major things right, Love God, Love people, reach those who are far from God.

So, who’s in front of you, and are you brave enough to say “dude, I think your compass may be broken”.?

The down side of God’s love?? I’m not that Hot!! when we first started going to church I was skeptical at least. some of the “touchy feely” things mentioned just seemed cheesy.. and all the “nice” people seemed fake (and I don’t doubt some were) then…. there were a few people that, in my mind, seemed to be hitting on me.. my reaction was almost impulsive in my head I was thinking “doesn’t this person know I’m married do they not see my wife and kids right here”?? what made it even more odd was that some of these people were men.. they just seemed too interested in me and in and not the cheesy churchy way….come to find out these people were interested and they were genuinely loving. these people had the love of God in them and it just flowed out in their every day conversations and actions. kinda broke my heart when I finally figured this out I thought my gym membership was finally paying off.

Now it’s even more odd.. the people that are drawn to me in conversation from followers to atheists. The way I connect with children is nothing short of supernatural. people from my past recognize the peace and love in my daily life and wonder. people I meet know that I’m different from most others and the conversation eventually turns to my faith. I wish I could say I was hot or an excellent speaker or super charismatic…. But when I stand before the mirror, I have to give the glory to God…because I’m just not that hot

Often I hear people say they are waiting for what God wants them to do, sometimes this is needed, but sometimes I feel this is an excuse inaction. What are you waiting for? If You’ve read the same bible as I you know we are called to act in faith, yes many times the Spirit or an angel tells the person what to do or what to say. Then there are times when people act according to what they know about God and what God wants, and incredible things happen, read 1 Samuel 14. Johnathan doesn’t wait for a sign or a message he knows he is acting on God’s behalf and God will have his back.

If someone was about to get hit by a car would you pull them out of the way or pray about it? That sounds extreme, but what we can apply to the big cases we can apply to the small cases. it would be impulsive for most of us to pull that person out of harms way. so maybe we can train ourselves to make our acts of love and kindness impulsive, our acts of serving and giving. no second thoughts, no need to pray about it, knowing we are acting on behalf of our God, just acting. Read James 4:17. Many times we need to pray for guidance on what is right or good to do. but many times we know the answer….we’re just stalling.

so here we go. Why do we say things like “I promise”, or “I give you my word” or “I swear it’s the truth”? do we commonly speak untruths? and then when we really mean it have to add the caveat of “I promise” when we say we will or wont do something is there some established pattern where the other person assumes we don’t mean it unless we swear?

I really find it ironic when a person promises not to lie anymore.

I personally take issue with the whole marriage contract and swearing to love “till death do us part”. However symbolic the ceremony and the “contract/License” is, it is empty w/o truth behind it. With the divorce rate at over %50 (even among “Christians”) I’m pretty sure even promises made before God an witnesses don’t really hold much water. Or when we testify in court we swear to tell the truth, but how many perjure themselves?

Then in parenting I’ve learned to never promise anything. Whether reward or punishment it is established in my house, I will do what I say to the best of my ability. This makes setting of standards and discipline pretty easy. There are established outcomes for certain behaviors. I never say “I promise if you do that one more time I will punish you”. My children know this about me. they also know if I say I will take them somewhere, or do something, or play a game. I will do everything in my power to keep my word.

So in closing, Do you find yourself saying “I promise” a lot? or “I swear”? or is everything you speak considered to be truth as far as you can control it?

If we focus on speaking truth, acting in truth, people will know the instances of us being wrong is not lying but simply err, or circumstances.

Matt 5:36-37 do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’;

A while back I was at Jiffy Lube, sitting in the waiting room…waiting. I was on facebook when the lady next to me asked what People do on facebook. I told her I’m doing a daily bible reading and posting my thoughts on what I read that day. Then the conversation got interesting.. She asked me if I thought I was better because I was a Christian. Then proceeded to explain to me how a contractor she used had the “fish” on his card and proceeded to dupe her out of money(the whole fish or cross as a marketing device is another topic). I told her it sucked when people do that and apologized for “Christians” in general. Then she asked again “do you think you’re better because your a Christian?”   What tumbled through my head was few answers. one being yes, the bible says I am, I mean of coarse I am, I have the creator of the universe residing in me, of coarse I’m better than someone who doesn’t, but that didn’t come out.  Thank you God. I actually kind of flipped it “define good, your version of good, the worlds version of good, or God’s version of good? cause I figure on the world’s version I’m way above Hitler, but far below Gandhi. I can tell you this, I’m better than I was for sure!! I sometimes judge myself against other Christians and realize that scale is even broken… I don’t know what their starting points were, what trash was in their lives that isn’t now, what they are still battling.” at this time I realized I went into my not so famous “preacher mode” and had an audience of about 5.

So I closed with this “I know this, I’m not good, but I know the one who is, and I try everyday to follow him, and when I do, and when I’m obedient, not just good things, but awesome things happen” as if on Que the guy called my name handed me my keys and I walked out.

who’s your favorite sports star, what can you tell me about him, how much do you know about him how many details?

who’s you favorite sports team?? do you miss any of their games? do you defend them with a passion …ever throw fists over it?

what is your favorite sport?? how well do you know that sport, the rules , the plays, the teams? how much time do you spend keeping up on that sport??

now I ask,

who’s your God? what can you tell me about him, how much do you know about him? how many details?

How well do you know the Gospel? do you miss a chance to learn it? ? do you defend it with a passion …ever lose friends over it?

How Much do you love the Bible? How well do you know the stories, the characters, How much time do you spend being in it? living what it teaches?

I’m as guilty as the next,. in fact maybe as of just recently i can tell you more about the bible than I can about Star Trek. I might be able to tell you more about the characters in the bible than the characters on Lost.

just saying maybe we need to refocus on what we worship

I like the term radical, it’s been given a bad reputation when tied to religion. We constantly hear about “radical religious” people doing harm, protesting at funerals, even murder, all in the name of God. However when I read the Bible I see a different type of Radicalism. Isaiah 58 (that’s Old Testament for those who think the Old Testament is hell fire and damnation) talks a lot about the wrong/right way to be radical.

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry,
and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

I know there are a lot of don’ts in the Bible and we tend to focus on these, there are a lot of do’s in there also. I try to live my life focusing on how the Bible tells me to act in love. Odd thing it’s actually easier to focus on the don’ts. If you love someone, you don’t steal from him, don’t lie about him, don’t sleep with his wife, and don’t murder him (see the Ten Commandments) easy right? Basically if you can ignore that your neighbor exists, you can do these. Now the do’s, those are extreme, just a few, feed him, forgive him, fight for him, listen to him, cry with him, share what you’ve worked so hard for with him. The list is a lot longer than that. And a radical will not just do these things but seek out opportunities to do them.

We have all seen radicals on both sides of this coin, which one do you think is changing the world?(even if it is only 1 persons world) Which do you think is pleasing God?